Ethan Andrew: 31 Weeks

My last update covered my pregnancy experience during weeks 13-20, so I'll pick up at week 31 and briefly summarize weeks 21-30. :)

Current Week: We are 31 weeks today and I still can't get over how quickly the time is passing. It took me a week before realizing we'd entered the third trimester (at 26 weeks), and we only have 9 weeks left until meeting our sweet boy! 

Baby boy at 27 weeks

Size: At our 27 week ultrasound Ethan was weighing 2.2lbs. :) At 31 weeks, he is currently the size of a coconut. 

Movement: This little guy is very active, and I am so thankful for this. While the huge belly is enough, these little/big kicks are sweet reminders of the life growing inside of me. 

Arabella loving on Ethan :)

Cravings or aversions: I'm still not craving much, but around week 25 I started craving cheese. Sharp cheddar in little cubes, to be exact. I've also been eating lots of snowballs since being back in Charleston. During my visit to Louisiana I purchased a gallon of wedding cake snowball mix, and now I make my own at home in SC. :) Not only are they delicious (complete with ice cream and condensed milk), but they also get rid of heartburn pretty quickly. 

Weight Gain: I'm very happy to report that I've only gained 10 pounds so far! Not sure how this number has stayed so low, but I'm certain it has a lot to do with my very active days with Gavin and Arabella. 

Sleep: Sleep is getting more and more uncomfortable, as this belly of mine is hard and huge. I'm no longer able to roll face down and usually sleep a little twisted. While Arabella has been sleeping in her and Gavin's new bunk bed since July, she's recently started getting in our bed in the middle of the night. This happened after spending two weeks sleeping with me in Louisiana, but I'm hoping she gets back to her bed before Ethan arrives. 

Symptoms: Up until last week things were going well...and by well I mean I only had heartburn, exhaustion, and moodiness. I'm still experiencing all of those things, but now I'm having crazy back pains. (These pains are typically isolated to the lower and middle right side.) Also, for the past few days I've been having pretty intense pain that begins right below my belly button and ends at the top of my pelvic bone. I saw my doctor yesterday and was perscriebd an antibiotic that will hopefully heal anything that's going on down there.

That's all for now! Hoping for this back pain and weird stomach pain to go away soon, and to get Ethan's nursery together by my next update :) 

Keeping Quiet

It's been a bit quiet around here, but what are you supposed to say when you aren't supposed to say anything?

Life lately has been challenging, and when challenging things happens in real life you're supposed to keep it to yourself and off of the internet.

Right?

Thus holds one of the most challenging parts about using writing as an outlet and your blog to document your life. Typically, if I'm not writing consistently then I'm busy with other priorities or going through something that I can't share.

Unfortunately, this time around consists of both.

While this week is actually going okay, last week was one of the most difficult that I've had in a very long time. Things seemed to be going wrong on a daily basis and the stress became unbearable. My right eye started twitching, my body ached, and I felt like I had a stomach bug. My 24 week pregnant belly also hurt here and there (I think those may have been Braxton Hicks contractions), and it was quite alarming.

All. from. stress.

And while part of me wants to blurt everything out because it would quite frankly make me feel better, I know that it would make things in real life more difficult.

So quiet I'll keep.

If I've learned anything it's that biting your tongue is (sometimes) the best thing you can do. We recently went on a trip where someone's opinion was so far off and completely ridiculous that I wanted to speak up and challenge it...but I knew by doing so I would ruin the day and create tension and ill feelings. So I literally bit my tongue.

In today's society where social media is present and speaking your mind is so easy, it's important to remember that keeping quiet doesn't mean that you approve or agree with the opinion or actions at hand. It just means that you are picking your battles wisely.

It's so easy to focus on the negative, especially when you are 100% justified in doing so, but I've also learned that you must keep your eyes on the good, praise Him through the storm, and know that when things are tough, you are learning and growing and will persevere.

In reality things could be so much worse, and I'm thankful that the Lord has protected my family and continues to provide for us. Since I won't say what's wrong, I'll say what's right.

My children have been super sweet, happy, and are healthy. Thank you, Lord. 

The pregnancy is going well and sweet Ethan is one active little dude. Thank you, Lord. 

My husband and I continue to strengthen our marriage through all of these challenges, and he never fails to protect and love me. Thank you, Lord. 

We have a home to live in, food in our bellies, and more blessings than we deserve. Thank you, Lord.

The desires of my heart are strong and my passion for things truly amazes me. Thank you, Lord.

**Life is beautiful and messy and sometimes things go wrong, and I think that what everyone needs to remember is that every action produces a reaction. Those creating the initial actions do not have the right to try and control the reaction or to inform you how it makes them feel. They created the mess, and they must accept the consequences. With time and healing I'm sure things will return to some form of normal, but in the meantime boundaries must be respected.**

So, I say all of this to say that I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things and continue sharing my heart, goals, and life...because this blog is Lindsey's Dolce Vita, and it truly is "tales of my mostly sweet, sometimes crazy, perfectly imperfect life."

Dear Arabella

Oh, my sweet girl. Where do I even begin? 

Three years ago at 9:08AM, we officially met, and since the first moment I laid eyes on you my life has never been the same. Your sweet face and wild hair immediately melted my heart, and while you met many people, we mostly spent your first day on Earth just you and me. 

Over the years your personality has really developed, and you are a feisty, silly, and brave little thing. You love to play with your big brother (who you affectionately call Gav Gav) and you absolutely adore your Daddy. You give the most squishy hugs and kisses, and you can brighten anyone's day with that sweet smile of yours. I never dreamed that I'd have a daughter, and especially not one as special as you. You bring such immense joy to all of our lives, and we are abundantly blessed to have you in our family. 

Your brother completely changed my life by making me a mom, and the bond that we share is so special. However, having a daughter is a whole different ballgame. I  know that you won't understand this for quite a while, but in many ways you've saved me.

You were born the day before the world lost one of the sweetest women ever, my Me-Maw. Your birth allowed her death to hurt, but not shatter me. I hate that you never got to meet her...you would have adored Me-Maw. But she did get to see a video of you right before she passed away, and for that I am forever thankful. 

You make me want to be better woman, so that you have a great role model to look up to. 

You push me to follow my dreams and to never quit. 

You make me genuinely happy. 

You make me laugh each and every day. 

You inspire me to always work on my relationship with the Lord.

Today, you turn three and you're already embracing that "threenager" status. :) You have sass, you have spunk, and you are learning how to be more independent. While this can be frustrating for mommy and daddy, I hope that you always keep a little of these characteristics with you as you grow up.

Love this precious little face!

You are very dramatic and often act out your favorite TV shows, and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if you become an actress one day. You love to run outside with Gavin, and you also love twirling and dancing. You love when daddy throws you in the air (and often say "Do again, do again!" over and over until he does) and you love when I hold you. You absolutely hate brushing your teeth and fixing your hair, and I have to wrestle you to do both. :) 

As food goes, you aren't too picky, and some of your favorites are beans (of any kind), cheese, hot dogs (no bun), cucumbers, fruit snacks, and pasta. You dislike strawberries and would rather drink water over juice. Your favorite thing to do at the playground is to swing, and you could literally swing all. day. long. You love going to the beach and prefer to stay in the water (as long as someone is holding you) rather than play in the sand.

You travel pretty well and thus far your furthest road trip was last summer when we went to Louisiana (13 hours). Your favorite TV shows include Peppa Pig, VeggieTales (especially Larry Boy), Sofia the First, Little Einsteins, and a new favorite is Daniel Tiger. You are incredibly friendly, which freaks me out sometimes, but thankfully you're obsessed with the Safe Side Super-Chick DVD and she's teaching you in very silly ways how to be careful. 

Today, we celebrate your third year of life by exploring a little of Charleston, and on Saturday we will celebrate with your friends and family. I love you with all of my heart Arabella Therese Christmas, and I thank God daily for picking me to be your mommy.

Girls Getaway with Emily Giffin!

This past Saturday was quite possibly one of the most exciting days I've had in a very long time, as I met my favorite author Emily Giffin! 

If you're not familiar with her writing, maybe you've heard of the movie Something Borrowed? Well, that awesome chick flick was based off of Emily's novel of the same name. :) (By the way, I recommend reading SOBO, and then reading Something Blue. Something Blue is the sequel to SOBO and is actually in the process of being made into a movie (YAY!). Emily told us Saturday that scripts were just sent to Kate Hudson (who plays Darcy) and John Kransinski (who plays Ethan) and Something Blue is REALLY happening! Without a doubt, Blue is my absolute favorite EG novel...although Where We Belong is a close second. ;))

May 2011...impatiently waiting for SOBO's release

I've been a fan of sweet Emily for years, and although I can't remember how I stumbled upon this fabulous author, I'm so thankful that I did. The way that she writes is absolutely inspiring, and the characters that she creates leave me speechless. Her ability to captivate real, raw human relationships makes reading her books something that I simply cannot live without. 

Okay, back to the event! 

On Saturday I headed downtown to the Gaillard Center for Emily's Girls Getaway event that included a question and answer segment and book signing, as well as tons of food, cocktails, and games. I asked Emily if she plans to re-visit the storyline from Where We Belong and she said yes! (If you'd like to see the Q&A segment, check out the live video from the Charleston event on her Facebook page. I asked my question around the 10:45 mark.) While I went by myself, I ended up meeting a sweet girl named Jessica, who was also there alone. We had a great time discussing our favorite books, authors, and our lives in general, and I'm thankful for this sweet new friend. 

Thanks to Jessica, I also got the moment I told Emily that baby number 3 is going to be named Ethan, which happens to be a character in Something Borrowed/Blue, and she was thrilled. :) 

A video posted by Lindsey (@lindseychristmas) on Jun 25, 2016 at 4:47pm PDT

Mrs. Giffin's newest novel, First Comes Love, comes out tomorrow but thanks to an awesome swag bag that I got for attending the event, I received an advance copy. 

And y'all. 

It's. 

So. 

Good. 

I started reading it yesterday and I seriously cannot put it down. Because it's a signed copy I'm trying not to beat it up too badly, but goodness I've taken that book with me everywhere! A story about sisters dealing with the anniversary of a family tragedy, both are at a crossroads in their life and are dealing with separate but similiar struggles. I haven't decided if I'm Team Josie or Team Meredith yet, but I'll keep you updated. :)

Boys mow the yard, Mom reads, Bella runs around. :)

Overall it was an absolutely lovely weekend, and while I felt horrible on Sunday due to a night of restless sleep, I'm looking forward to the very busy week ahead.

How was your weekend? 

Are you an Emily Giffin fan?

Father's Day: Healing & Hopeful

Up until my husband became a father, I was never a fan of Father's Day. My earthly father has not been the kind of man that one should ever celebrate or devote an entire day to, and Father's Day was always a hard day filled with flashbacks from my childhood, anger, and sadness. 

But something incredible happened. 

I watched the man that I married become a father to our son, and then our daughter, and I started to heal. Seeing the way a father should act has been one of the most beautiful things I've witnessed in my adulthood. Now, the man I chose to marry is the complete opposite of my father. For starters, he's not an abusive alcohol so I call that a big win from the get-go, but it's more than that. My husband is gentle and patient, he is kind and silly, and the best part of all he that is a Christ follower who teaches our children about God. Seeing him interact with our children has slowly but surely put all of those broken pieces back together. 

Right about now I'm sure I sound like a Kelly Clarkson song, and if that's what you're thinking then you'd be right. Sweet Kelly and I apparently have a lot in common when it comes to our father's, and her most recent song Piece by Piece is one that is very dear to me. While my father didn't abandon me like Kelly's did, he created a hostile and abusive environment for my sisters and I to grow up in. He emotionally, verbally, and physically abused my mother, and when I got old enough he tried to do the same to me.

Except I left home at 17 to live with my grandmother and I never looked back. Because while I saw what was happening all those years, I swore that I would never let a man treat me like that, and to this day one never has. (Well, they've tried...but this Cajun mouth hasn't kept quiet, and those men have no part in my life.)

To this day there is still turmoil with my father. He is erratic and even more of a drunk than he used to be. I've tried to help...tried to allow him to be a grandfather to my children, but the first time he yelled at me in front my children was the last time he ever saw them. As a Christian, I do believe that one should honor their mother and their father (Exodus 20:12), but I also believe that you should distance yourself from things causing you to sin and things that are toxic. (Mark 9:47)

So that's what I've done. 

Last month on the day I finished graduate school and earned a Masters degree, I received three incredibly rude and threatening messages from my father. He'd just figured out that I removed him from my Facebook and he could no longer see pictures of my children, and he was furious. He told me I was crazy...that I was messed up in the head. That I was a child and a coward and threatened that something would happen if he was not allowed to see his grandchildren. (FYI - all curse words have been removed)

On that day, in my heart, it. was. done. I was done. The power that he once had over me was gone because I was no longer a little girl, but a mother with an instinct to protect her children, and I was livid. The strange thing is that I no longer feel anger towards him, only sorrow for all that he has lost. I have forgiven him in my heart for all of his wrongdoings, but will not allow him to cause anymore harm.

On this day, Father's Day, I am disappointed that I do not get to celebrate that relationship in my own life, but I am abundantly excited to shower my husband with love. I know that in this world marriages fail just as often as they succeed, but I truly have faith that our marriage will be one that lasts. However, if something goes wrong and I do nothing else right, I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that my children have been blessed with the most amazing father. 

It's taken a really long time to understand this because in my mind the word father is not synonymous with good things, but I do have another father. This Father adores me and is proud of me. He will never hurt me or leave me. He is perfect and caring and a King, and technically that makes me a princess. I know that I can do all things through His strength, and that He is always there for me. 

And that's a beautiful thing. 

***If you're reading this and can relate to the relationship that I have with my earthly father, I urge you to come to terms with the facts, get angry about it and then let that anger go. Forgive him. If you can repair that relationship, try. If you've tried there's still suffering, walk away. Pray for him. He will always be your father, but he doesn't have the right to hold that fact over your head or to take credit for your accomplishments. Run to your heavenly Father. Dive into His Word. It's going to be okay. Maybe not right away, but eventually, you're going to be okay.***

Our Rainbow Baby - Halfway There!

Somehow time has flown by incredibly fast, and I am already 20 weeks pregnant with our sweet Rainbow Baby! My last update covered my pregnancy experience during the first 12 weeks, so I'll pick up at week 20 and briefly summarize weeks 13-19. :)

Current week: 20 weeks and I cannot believe we're halfway through this pregnancy! We visited the doctor yesterday and got the cutest profile picture of our sweet boy! Everything is looking perfect and I'm so thankful for a healthy, growing boy. We also confirmed the gender again (since we found out so early at 14 weeks), and after 20 minutes of poking around he finally let us see his boy part. :)

Size: According to the ultrasound tech he weighs 12oz, and according to the app on my phone he's the size of a mango.

Movement: For the past week I've been feeling his sweet kicks every day, and boy is he active! This feeling is so magical and I'm thankful that I get to feel them again. Last Monday (6/6) Keith felt him for the first time and was the sweetest thing.

Cravings or aversions: As much as I liked eating oranges, tomatoes, and all things acidic in the first trimester, all of it caused a lot of trouble and I had a flare up of my IC (Interstitial cystitis...a bladder problem I've had for years), so I've had to stay away from them. I can't really say that I've craved anything specific, but I will say that I will all of a sudden be starving, eat a few bites of something, and then be sickly full. Oh, the pregnancy fun. :)

Weight gain: I've happily gained only 7 pounds! Hopefully I won't gain a ton more so that I'll be around the 20-25 lb. range. I started out heavier than I would've liked to be, but I'm remaining hopeful that my body still knows how to grow and have babies.

Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty well, minus the fact that I have a toddler (Bella) next to me and she sleeps horribly. We're still co-sleeping with her and are hoping to move her to a Big Girl bed very soon.

Symptoms: I'm quite exhausted and am usually passed out by 10PM. I also get heartburn frequently, pee all of the time, and can be a bit moody (just ask my husband;)), but honestly I wouldn't change a thing. I know what a big blessing this baby is and I'm thankful for each moment.

Gavin is SO in love with his baby brother!

Name: Oh, the name! We had originally decided on Ethan Elijah, but after much thought and going back-and-forth with Keith, we've finally decided on Ethan Andrew!!! I'm SO excited about his name and finally feel at peace. For some reason Ethan Elijah never felt right, but I'm thrilled with Ethan Andrew. :)

Judy Hopps is my Soul Sister

I know that we're a little late to the game, but on Friday night my family and I finally watched Zootopia. A movie about a determined bunny, rookie cop named Judy Hopps and her unlikely partner, a con artist fox named Nicholas Wilde, who work to uncover a conspiracy ailing the city of Zootopia.

As a parent, I loved this movie for my kids. Of course it was cute, funny, and full of teachable moments, but more than anything it was inspiring. It showed humanity in the form of animals, and was incredibly honest. The movie ends with Judy saying, "Life's a little bit messy. We all make mistakes. No matter what type of animal you are, change starts with you."

And this I love.

There are two major themes I took away from this movie.

The first...

I want my kids to know that yes, they may only be one person, but they have a voice and it should be used for good. They should speak up for those that cannot speak for themselves (Proverbs 31:8), and never forget that they have to power to be courageous. We live in a world that is full of negativity and evilness, but yet in spite of that there are still good things here. Still beautiful moments and people and experiences, and we each have the opportunity to be a light in the darkness...to embrace who we are and soar.

(It's honestly a little difficult to believe the words above in light of this weekend's events in Orlando, Florida. On Friday, a beautiful, young, talented singer named Christina Grimmie was murdered after performing at her concert, and then on Sunday morning 50 innocent lives were stolen at the hands of an Islamic terrorist. It's unfathomable how so much harm was done in such a short amount of time, especially all in the same city! I'm absolutely sick over these vicious attacks...I just don't understand. I know that my God is bigger than this evilness and the only thing I find peace in is knowing that He is in control, and He is a just God, and those responsible for these horrific acts will face justice one way or another.)   

The second...

Another theme in this movie is sweet Judy and her "I can be anything!" attitude. Now, as someone that tries and fails often, I admired seeing a character so determined and full of gumption. (For the record, this may be my favorite word, as it literally means "shrewd or spirited initiative and resourcefulness", and that my friend is me in a nutshell. Gumption doesn't mean you always succeed, but it means you try.)

Anyway, while Judy is determined to become a cop (the first bunny cop!), her parents have a different way of looking at things.

In case you didn't watch the video, here's the just of it:

Bonnie Hopps: Of course, it is okay to have dreams.

Stu Hopps: Just as long as you don't believe too much in them.

While Stu and Bonnie Hopps mean well, they are straight up dream killers. It's perfectly fine to be realistic and share your concerns with someone, but to spew negativity stating how you just know something will not work out, or that it's definitely not a good idea is just foolish. Because here's the thing -- these people don't know how things will turn out. Just because they don't believe it can happen doesn't mean it can't.

I know many people just like Judy's parents who eagerly share how awful my plan/dreams/goals sounds. And considering that I have many interests and goals and sometimes go overboard in executing them, I somewhat understand the concern...but why not offer support or encouragement? Why not have faith and believe in that person, or why not simply keep your lips zipped?

I don't know what my future holds, but I know that if animated movies like Zootopia give me goosebumps and inspire me to keep going, then that's enough for me. I'm so thankful for movies like Zootopia and hope that my children grow up to be as determined and persistent as sweet Judy Hopps.