Judy Hopps is my Soul Sister

I know that we're a little late to the game, but on Friday night my family and I finally watched Zootopia. A movie about a determined bunny, rookie cop named Judy Hopps and her unlikely partner, a con artist fox named Nicholas Wilde, who work to uncover a conspiracy ailing the city of Zootopia.

As a parent, I loved this movie for my kids. Of course it was cute, funny, and full of teachable moments, but more than anything it was inspiring. It showed humanity in the form of animals, and was incredibly honest. The movie ends with Judy saying, "Life's a little bit messy. We all make mistakes. No matter what type of animal you are, change starts with you."

And this I love.

There are two major themes I took away from this movie.

The first...

I want my kids to know that yes, they may only be one person, but they have a voice and it should be used for good. They should speak up for those that cannot speak for themselves (Proverbs 31:8), and never forget that they have to power to be courageous. We live in a world that is full of negativity and evilness, but yet in spite of that there are still good things here. Still beautiful moments and people and experiences, and we each have the opportunity to be a light in the darkness...to embrace who we are and soar.

(It's honestly a little difficult to believe the words above in light of this weekend's events in Orlando, Florida. On Friday, a beautiful, young, talented singer named Christina Grimmie was murdered after performing at her concert, and then on Sunday morning 50 innocent lives were stolen at the hands of an Islamic terrorist. It's unfathomable how so much harm was done in such a short amount of time, especially all in the same city! I'm absolutely sick over these vicious attacks...I just don't understand. I know that my God is bigger than this evilness and the only thing I find peace in is knowing that He is in control, and He is a just God, and those responsible for these horrific acts will face justice one way or another.)   

The second...

Another theme in this movie is sweet Judy and her "I can be anything!" attitude. Now, as someone that tries and fails often, I admired seeing a character so determined and full of gumption. (For the record, this may be my favorite word, as it literally means "shrewd or spirited initiative and resourcefulness", and that my friend is me in a nutshell. Gumption doesn't mean you always succeed, but it means you try.)

Anyway, while Judy is determined to become a cop (the first bunny cop!), her parents have a different way of looking at things.

In case you didn't watch the video, here's the just of it:

Bonnie Hopps: Of course, it is okay to have dreams.

Stu Hopps: Just as long as you don't believe too much in them.

While Stu and Bonnie Hopps mean well, they are straight up dream killers. It's perfectly fine to be realistic and share your concerns with someone, but to spew negativity stating how you just know something will not work out, or that it's definitely not a good idea is just foolish. Because here's the thing -- these people don't know how things will turn out. Just because they don't believe it can happen doesn't mean it can't.

I know many people just like Judy's parents who eagerly share how awful my plan/dreams/goals sounds. And considering that I have many interests and goals and sometimes go overboard in executing them, I somewhat understand the concern...but why not offer support or encouragement? Why not have faith and believe in that person, or why not simply keep your lips zipped?

I don't know what my future holds, but I know that if animated movies like Zootopia give me goosebumps and inspire me to keep going, then that's enough for me. I'm so thankful for movies like Zootopia and hope that my children grow up to be as determined and persistent as sweet Judy Hopps. 

Weekend End Wrap-Up

This past weekend was one filled with tears (the good kind), exploring, resting, and relaxing.

On Friday, Keith and I headed out on an early date and saw the movie that I've been looking forward to for months, Me Before You. Having read the book, I knew what I was getting myself into, but that didn't stop me from sobbing the last 30 minutes of the film. This story is one of love and loss and is hauntingly beautiful, and I highly recommend watching it. However, maybe check it out on a Sunday afternoon instead of on a big Friday night. After the movie, Keith and I went out to dinner and both felt a bit exhausted and heavy after watching the ever delightful Louisa Clark and the handsome Will Traynor.

Silently sobbing makes for a good swollen face :)

We awoke on Saturday to a bright and sunny day, and decided to take the kids out and explore a bit of Charleston. While we always say that we live in Charleston, we actually live 20 minutes from downtown and don't venture out as often as we'd like. One of our favorite places, Cypress Gardens, was damaged during last year's massive flood and has yet to re-open, so we're always looking for new places to go with the kids.

Keith mentioned heading to Fort Moultrie, which is located in Sullivan's Island about 40 minutes from our house, and I hesitantly agreed. The only time we visited was years ago during the winter and we froze our butts off. However, this time around we had the most wonderful experience!

Arabella has been taking very unpredictable naps and ended up sleeping for most of the time, so she missed out on exploring the fort and checking out the cannons. We ended up wandering around the front of the fort and discovered a path to Sullivan's Beach!

Our little Bella Reese woke up to see one of favorite places (if not her favorite!) and loved hanging out in the water. After spending time at Ft. Moultire, we stopped for lunch and ice cream, Toys R Us, and headed home to relax for the rest of the evening.

On Sunday, I woke up feeling a bit sore and had a pretty intense backache. I think the combination of walking a little too much and riding in Keith's lifted truck made this happen, but I was still feeling okay. Then, my sweet Gavin tried to give me a kiss and accidentally head-butted me in the nose. Now, as a mom I've been head-butted plenty of times before, but this time was incredibly painful. I immediately burst into tears and checked for blood, because I was sure that my nose was broken. Luckily, there was no blood and if anything my nose is only bruised, but the headache it caused lasted for most of the day. :( Gavin felt horrible but I assured him that it was okay, but I was pretty much useless the rest of the day. We did get to watch Djokovic win the French Open (GO DJOK!!!!) and that was awesome.

I also watched the Miss USA pageant and really enjoyed seeing how diverse and intelligent this year's contestant were. Pageants get a lot of heat for being just "beauty pageants", and yes these women are beautiful, but they are also strong and intelligent and fearless. I follow a lot of the contestants and pageant sites on Instagram and my favorites going in to the competition were South Carolina, South Dakota, and Hawaii. After the initial introductions, I was also rooting for D.C. to win because I admire her service in the Army. 

District of Columbia, Hawaii, South Carolina, and South Dakota

All of my favorites made it to the Top 10, except South Carolina who made it to the Top 15. Each year I watch this and it is clear that you must have confidence and poise to make it to the interview, but if you bomb said interview then you're toast! Alabama and California were fan favorites and doing so well, and then their answers were lacking and a bit painful to watch and they did not move forward. 

It does seem a bit convenient that the military contestant was asked a question about the government allowing women to fight in combat, while Hawaii was asked who she was going to vote for (Clinton vs. Trump...really????). Both contestants handled the questions well, but I do think Hawaii had an unfair advantage that may have cost her the crown. 

Overall, it was a wonderful weekend and I am so thankful that I get to do life with these people!

How was your weekend? 

What did you do?

No Words

NYC.

It won't be easy. 

But you will recover. 

You'll come back stronger than before. 

You always do.

You're resilient.

You're beautiful.

And I'm sending all of my love, thoughts, and prayers to you.

Remembering Jen

Today I stumbled upon a story that absolutely wrecked my soul. It's about a beautiful 36 year old named Jen. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in August 2011 and sadly, she passed away on 10/12/12. 

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This beautiful woman left countless loved ones behind, including two sons who are only 6 and 9. While this story is undeniably sad, it isn't one that I haven't heard before. My dear aunt, Carleen, passed away six years ago from pancreatic cancer, leaving behind her 3 year old son. :'(

As a new mom, my biggest fear is that something will happen to my son, my husband, or me. I have faith that my God holds all of us in His hands, so no matter what happens everything will be okay. But I'm also human and I have this fear. Cancer is an ugly, despicable illness that has no prejudice. It can happen to anyone. Through Jen's story, I learned that a yearly Pap smear will not detect ovarian cancer. It can detect cervical cancer, but there is no regular check-up that can give women warning. This is really shocking to me, as I have always thought that an annual check-up could detect any type of female reproductive cancer.

What most disturbs me about this newly learned fact is that because there is no way to detect through regular exams and often has common symptoms, ovarian cancer is typically diagnosed at stage 3 or 4. Here are a few facts about this type of cancer regarding survival expectations.

• About 3 out of 4 women with ovarian cancer survive 1 year after diagnosis.
• Nearly half of women live longer than 5 years after diagnosis.
• If diagnosis is made early in the disease and treatment is received before the cancer spreads outside the ovary, the 5-year survival rate is very high

These statistics are completely heartbreaking. Additionally, there is not a standard screening. There is a test that can be performed for women who are high risk to detect BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. These particular genes are linked to hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. If a person has these genes, they can have a hysterectomy to attempt to reduce  their risk of these types of cancer. 

So, what are we, the women, to do? For starters, we need to listen to our bodies. There have been a few dominate symptoms linked to ovarian cancer. They are:

1. Severe and frequent bloating/ Increased abdominal size

2. Severe and spastic cramping–similar to menstrual pains but more intense

3. Lower abdominal and back pain

4. Loss of appetite/Feeling full quickly

5. Weight loss

6. Extreme fatigue/Lack of energy

7. Night sweats

I did not know Jen, and I do not know anyone with ovarian cancer. I just feel a really strong conviction to write this post. Maybe someone needs to read it, maybe it'll pop up on a Google search years from now. if you or someone you know are experiencing the symptoms above, do not ignore them. You may have nothing, but you may also have reproductive cancer. For ovarian cancer, the sooner it is caught, the higher the survival rate. Do not ignore it. Do not succumb to it.

Jen, you beautiful soul. Your story has touched my heart and I will keep your sweet family in my prayers. May you dance with the angels at the throne of our King. 

***If you would like to donate to Jen's family, please click here***

Worldless Wednesday

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I am so proud of these women. So proud to be an American.

Aurora

Beautiful picture by

As you guys probably know, a gunman entered a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado on Friday, July 20th. There were 12 people killed and 58 others who are injured. 

 

I truthfully cannot believe that this happened. I understand that we live in a fallen world and are given the right to choose good or evil...but this? It's unfathomable. A movie theater is a place where one goes for entertainment, not to dodge bullets. These innocent people were sitting in a dark room watching a movie, and were ambushed with tear gas and bullets. I'm feeling a lot of emotions ranging from sadness to anger, but mostly I'm just ticked. What kind of person does this?! 

My heart aches for all those involved in this tragedy and the only comfort I have is knowing that God is still on His throne. As a criminal justice student with a heart to fight injustice, these kinds of incidents really rock my world. I planned on writing a longer post and fully expressing the way I feel about this situation. Instead, I'd like to direct you guys to a blog that I read yesterday. It was written by a survivor of the attack and I adore what she has written. I hope you guys like it, too.

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So you STILL think God is a merciful God?! 

From: A Miniature Clay Pot

(Maybe, just maybe God spared my life because He loves YOU and wants you to hear this..He wants you to believe that He loved you so much He gave His only begotten Son that if you would believe in Him you would have eternal life.)

“So, you still believe in a merciful God?”  Some of the comments online are genuinely inquisitive, others are contemptuous in nature. Regardless of the motive behind the question, I will respond the same way.

Yes.

Yes, I do indeed.

Absolutely, positively, unequivocally.

Let’s get something straight: the theater shooting was an evil, horrendous act done by a man controlled by evil.  God did not take a gun and pull the trigger in a crowded theater. He didn’t even suggest it. A man did.
In His sovereignty, God made man in His image with the ability to choose good and evil.

Unfortunately, sometimes man chooses evil.

I was there in theater 9 at midnight, straining to make out the words and trying to figure out the story line as The Dark Night Rises began. I’m not a big movie-goer. The HH and I prefer to watch movies in the comfort of our own home…where I can use subtitles and get a foot rub. I don’t like action movies. And I don’t like midnight showings.  But, as I wrote in my last post, parents sometimes make sacrifices for their kiddos and I decided I would take my fourteen year old and sixteen year old daughters who were chomping at the bit to see this eagerly anticipated third movie in the Batman Trilogy. Twice I had the opportunity to back out and twice I was quite tempted. But something in me said just go with your girls. I did.

So I was there with them, fidgeting in my seat, some forty or  fifty feet away from the man with the gun. It’s still a bit surreal, but I do know that when the seemingly endless shooting started, as my girls were struggling from whatever gas or chemical had been released, and we figured out what was happening, we hit the floor. I threw myself on top of my fourteen year old who was on the end of the row, straight up the aisle from the shooter.  In that moment, as the rapid-fire shots continued, I truly thought I was going to die. And I realized that I was ready. I have put my faith and trust in Jesus Christ as the redeemer of my soul, and there wasn’t the slightest doubt that I would be received into heaven, not because of any good thing that I have done but because of His merciful nature and the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Still, as I lay over my daughter, I began praying out loud. I don’t even remember what I prayed, but I don’t imagine it really matters. I’m sure it was for protection and peace. It drew me closer into the presence of God. When there was a pause in the shooting, people began to clamor for the exits. The girls and I jumped up and joined the masses. We had to step over a lifeless body, not knowing where the shooter was. We raced to our car and I dumped my purse, frantically searching for keys, looking all around, prepared to hit the ground. I yelled at Michelle to call Matthew and find out if he had made it out of the theater next door. She did. He did. We booked on out of there.

Please head on over to Marie's blog to read the rest of this powerful post.

Where Were You?

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On September 11, 2001 I was a sophomore in high school. I was in my family and consumer science class and it was a regular day. One of my friends came into class late and began explaining what she had just seen on television. She told me that they were watching the news in a different class and that a plane had crashed into a building in New York City. I remember being really confused and scared and repeating "What do you mean a plane crashed into a building?!?!"   

The bell rang and I was off to my next class -- P.E. Everyone was talking about what was happening in New York and we were all freaking out. Instead of dressing into our gym uniforms the coaches had everyone huddle into one room and they let us watch the news coverage. By this time, the second plane had already crashed into the other tower. My heart was breaking for those suffering. The images on television were surreal, and I felt completely helpless.

I don't remember much of this day except the above. I know that I was scared. Very, very scared. At 15 years old I was pretty naive and wasn't aware of terrorism. Anything I previously learned on the subject was completely forgotten and I was extremely confused. When I found out that someone could have done this intentionally I was devastated. What kind of world were we living in? At this time I was not a Christian, and had only my friends to cling to. I imagine that I would have felt miles more comfort had I known Him at the time. 

That Friday night there was a football game and the crowd dressed in red, white, and blue. The cheerleaders painted American flags on our faces. While my memory has failed me and I don't remember much, I do remember the unity I felt with my fellow students. I remember the burst of patriotism that happened as our country stood together. And I remember feeling as though this attack on our country was not going to spread fear. If anything, this attack made us stronger. 

And I for one am proud to be an American.

Wordless Wednesday

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:)))))))

Random Wednesday

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Today is May 4th and I am so happy/relieved/joyful. The past two weeks have been unbelievably hectic -- but that's all over now! The Spring semester has FINALLY finished, (YAY!!!!!! It feels like it went by soooo sloooow) and in August, I become a senior. Y'all, words do not express my joy over this news. I have been in school since 2007 and am so excited to begin my last year of undergrad. Praise God! :) Another reason life has been crazy is because of work. We have been extremely busy, and today I submitted a pretty large bid that was weighing heavily on my shoulders. I am sincerely looking forward to a slower paced week. (Fingers crossed)

Because I treat my blog like a journal and I want to make sure to document major news, I have to mention the Royal Wedding. I didn't wake up at 4am to watch, but I did feel tremendous joy for William, Kate, and their families. I watched the coverage while getting ready for work and that was pretty much it. I thought Kate looked gorgeous, and both her and the Prince seemed genuinely happy. I found this picture and thought it was precious.

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Another thing I must mention is the death of Osama bin Laden. We all know what happened on Sunday and how he was killed by the US military...and I have to be honest when I say that I am happy that he is no more. Am I happy that he was killed? No, I'm not. I would never rejoice in the death of anyone. However, this was a man that fueled an absurdly dangerous terrorist group...a man who has killed countless, innocent people...and a man that has bred fear for years. As a Christian, I didn't know the "right" way to react. Yes, I was happy that bin Laden was no more, but I was also a little bothered. The Bible tells us that we should love our enemies, and while it's difficult sometimes, I believe the word of God. I also know that God is a just God. God loves justice, and regardless of what happened here on Earth, He has the final say so on the soul of a terrorist. I only pray that the death of this man does not breed a new line of hate amongst people.

What are y'all thoughts about everything that's happened in the past few days? 

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**Keith and I received some potentially great, life changing news. I can't say anything yet, but if you guys could, please pray that God's will would be done in our lives and that we follow the right path.**

For Japan, With Love

Please click here to donate to this unbelievable crisis. Your donation will provide a ShelterBox to victims of the earthquake and tsunami. "Each large green ShelterBox is tailored to a disaster but typically contains a disaster relief tent for an extended family, blankets, water storage and purification equipment, cooking utensils, a stove, a basic tool kit, a children’s activity pack and other vital items."

Additionally, Living Social is going to match every $5 donation to the American Red Cross. As of 11:00pm last night, they have raised $920,000, and $1,373,840 as of this morning!!! (And every time I refresh the page it's more.) Let's come together and help as much as we are able. 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 

Philippians 2:3-4

Disturbing News

Last night I read an article that made my heart hurt greatly. And while I understand that the media can twist the facts, there is much truth to what I read. Please know that I never intentionally want to be a Debbie Downer, but this is where my passion lies, and this not a "rainbows and sunshine" kind of post.

The article I read was about a 20/20 episode that focused on the Peace Corps, and featured a young woman named Kate Puzey. Kate was a volunteer serving in West Africa where she taught English at a local school.

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Upon being informed that a fellow teacher and Peace Corps volunteer was sexually assaulting students, she sent an email to the local Peace Corps office notifying them of his actions. She requested that her identity remain anonymous so that she would stay protected.

Not long after, Kate was found murdered.

Local police held a suspect in custody -- the man Kate emailed the Peace Corps office about. This man was recently terminated from his job at the school as a direct result of Kate's email. The police and her family believe that her murder was absolutely linked to the breach of confidentiality by the Peace Corps. This beautiful girl was murder in March of 2009 and almost two years later the Peace Corps has yet to come forth with any responsibility or information for the family.

The 20/20 episode went on to tell the story of the women who have come away with their lives, but who have been raped while serving in the Peace Corps. While it was disturbing to listen to their stories, what was even more disturbing was that the Peace Corps practically discarded these women. They encouraged false stories to cover up the rapes, and also did nothing to help these women recover offered only a few counseling sessions to help the women cope. To make matters worse, the girls were told that they must have done something wrong to have been raped.

The only word that comes to mind when I think of the way the Peace Corps has handled these situations is pathetic. I highly doubt that this is what President Kennedy envisioned when he created the Peace Corps. I am well aware that we live in a fallen world and things like rape and murder happen, but it is the responsibility of the Peace Corps to protect their volunteers instead of failing those who have been abused.

I am not writing this post to point fingers and scream judgment. I know that the Peace Corps has done amazing things in this world, and I believe that a few bad apples shouldn't ruin the whole barrel. This 20/20 program focused on the murder of Kate and the rapes/cover ups of other volunteers. I'm sure that they could have easily produced a show that highlighted all of the wonderful things the Peace Corps has done. I don't know all of the facts, and I'm sure 20/20 does not know all of the facts. However, certain things remain true:

Kate Puzey was murdered.

Volunteers have been raped, and feel betrayed.

I believe that the 20/20 story has shed a vast amount of light on what is going on within the walls of the Peace Corps, and I can only hope that the government will step up and make things right with those who are victims, and protect those currently serving.

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It is stories like these that push me to go further when I feel like quitting. It's this type of injustice that boils my blood and drives me to continue on this path that I have been called to. God willing, I will graduate with a degree in Criminal Justice in May 2012, and will enroll in law school in August 2012. The day where I can stop dreaming of helping and start fighting for what I believe is right will be a powerful day, indeed.

(To watch the 20/20 story click here)



It's Official

When I was a kid, I adored Princess Diana. For starters, she was a princess! She always seemed so kind and loving whenever I saw her on TV. She had two little boys, and she looked like an amazing mother. I had dreamed of one day meeting her and getting to visit the palace. (Hey, a kid can dream!)

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I remember staying up very late with my Mom and watching the news the night Princess Diana was killed. I was 11 years old, and I remember thinking that the world was a terrible place. I would talk more about Princess Diana being taken too soon, but this post is not meant to be sad. Nope, it's a wonderfully happy post!

Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married!

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"The Prince of Wales is delighted to announce the engagement of Prince William to Miss Catherine Middleton. The wedding will take place in the Spring or Summer of 2011, in London."

"Prince William has informed The Queen and other close members of his family. Prince William has also sought the permission of Miss Middleton's father. Following the marriage, the couple will live in north Wales, where Prince William will continue to serve with the Royal Air Force." via

I am seriously so happy for these two! Kate seems so lovely and kind, and I am happy that this is the woman the Prince will be marrying. I'm going out on a limb here, but she kind of reminds me of Princess Diana in the way she carries herself.

I can't wait to watch this beautiful couple wed next year! :o)

hello monday

Hi guys! Hope you all had a marvelous weekend! I'm sorry to leave y'all hanging with my crazy secret post from Saturday, but I am happy to report that tonight I will be writing all about it. :o) There are two things that I discovered over the weekend that I wanted to share. The first is tragic, the second is inspiring.

• Saturday afternoon I was wasting a little time before my secret arrived and decided to visit Foxnews.com to see if there were any new stories. What I saw completely shocked me. The title of the main story said "A Nation Mourning" and there was a picture of this cute man and his wife. The man was the President of Poland, and the story explained how the plane that he was on crashed in Russia. There were no survivors. Not only did the President and First Lady of Poland die, but 94 others as well. This included the president of Poland's national bank, the Deputy Foreign Minister, the head of the National Security office, and many more political, military, and church leaders. I do not understand why things like this happen, but all I can do is trust our Lord. At this time we need to come together and pray for Poland and those lost. May they rest in peace.

(source)

• On Sunday Keith and I decided to watch the end of The Masters golf tournament. While I don't really like golf, I did enjoy watching this. It wasn't the playing that inspired me, but the story behind the winner, Phil Mickelson. Phil's wife Amy has been fighting breast cancer since last year. While she was able to make it to Augusta, she had been bedridden all week. Yesterday she finally had enough strength to make it to the course and watch her husband win it all. Since being diagnosed, Amy hasn't been on the course at all. The embrace Phil and Amy shared after his win made my heart flip. In a time where golf has been tainted by a man named Tiger, it was wonderful to see these two.

(source)

Hope you all have a fantastic Monday! I'll be back later with more on my little secret. :o)

why wait?

Today I read an article on AOL news about a 12 year old named Zachary Bonner. The article was about Zach's "March Across America" project. You see, Zach is walking from Tampa, Florida to Los Angeles, California!!! His reason is simple: He wants to raise money and bring awareness to homeless kids in America.

Wait, it gets better.

At the age of six, Zach started a non-profit organization called the Little Red Wagon Foundation. He created this foundation so that he could help kids in distressed situations. He has received the U.S. President’s Volunteer Service Award and was voted the Most Inspiring Person by Beliefnet.com. Annnnd, they are making a movie about him. The guy that directed Rudy (Ruuudy, Ruuuudy!!!!) is directing Zach's. It'll be the same type of inspirational story, similar to Rudy's. How amazing is this kid??
So, as I read about Zach I thought to myself, "Wow, when I grow up I want to be just like him." As funny as it sounds, it's true. But the thing is, we don't have to wait to grow up to impact the world. Zach surely didn't wait. He began at the ripe old age of six. When I was his age I was playing with Barbie dolls and trying to wear my Mom's lipstick. Impacting the world doesn't mean that you have to start a non-profit. It just means that you can be the hands and feet of Jesus no matter how young/old you are.

Last summer, God planted Serenity Self Defense in my heart. I have many passions, but this one is very dear to me. This one gets me hyped up and makes me want to be Supergirl. And while I have a website up for Serenity, I don't have much else going on. I don't really know how to get the ball rolling. I know that I want to help women in the area by having no-cost training sessions on self-defense and street smarts, but how am I going to do this? I know that I want to raise money for Melanie Goodwin's Scholarship Fund, but how is that going to happen. (Melanie is what inspired Serenity to begin)

Reading Zach's story really made me reevaluate what I am going to do with Serenity. For now, I am seeking God's wisdom and trusting that he will lead the way. He didn't put this idea in my heart for it to go to waste. I know for sure that in April or May I want to have a meeting at my house to brainstorm ideas on what to do next. I'll have more details in the next few weeks if any of y'all are interested in getting involved.

another life lost

It was October when I first heard about the disappearance of Morgan Harrington. Morgan was a 20 year old student attending Virginia Tech. One night her and her friends went to a Metallica concert in Charlottesville, VA. I'm not too sure about all of the details, but Morgan went outside the arena by herself and she was never seen again. On Tuesday of this week, nearly 100 days after going missing, police found her skeletal remains. I don't know about you guys, but stories like this really mess me up. As of now, there are no leads as to who murdered this beautiful, innocent girl. I can't stand reading about tragedies like this. I get sick to my stomach thinking about the evil in this world. Why do people steal lives?!?! I have no idea if my reactions are normal, but every time I read stories like this I get really angry. And not just like Oh-poor-thing-that's-awful angry. I get If-I-could-I'd-kick-that-killer's-butt-from-here-to-Timbuktu angry. I know there is a reason for why I get this way, I just haven't fully figured it out yet.

It's girls like Morgan who inspire me to build Serenity Self Defense into a no cost safety/training program. I can't tell you how many times I racked my brain thinking about what happened to Morgan. "What if she would have known how to defend herself??? What if she would of had a weapon???" I know that in every situation self defense may not always help, but I have to believe that it can. Even if it only helps out in one violent situation that makes it more than worth it. In about a month my wedding will have come and gone. I plan on devoting all of my current wedding planning time to building Serenity SD. Anyone who would like to get involved please let me know. I plan on having a brainstorming meeting in April. In the words of PepperEyes, "Don't be the next victim, be their worst nightmare." I'm ready to read stories about THAT!

Rest In Peace Morgan

oh how i want to be in that number...

WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN!!!!!

I know that I'm a few days late, but on Sunday the New Orleans Saints defeated the Minnesota Vikings in the NFC Championship and are going to the Superbowl!!!

The freaking SUPERBOWL!!!!!!

I cannot express the joy I had when Hartley kicked that beautiful field goal and WE WON THE GAME! For those of you who don't know much about the Saints, let me fill you in. Growing up, being a Saints fan meant being constantly disappointed and somewhat embarrassed. Year after year I would watch my parents put on their black and gold clothing (sometimes my Dad would even paint his bald head black and gold) and cheer on their team. And year after year, my parents and the majority of folks in Louisiana would refer to this team as the Aints. It was my 8th grade year when I began to notice how bad the Saints were and how poor of a coach the team had. His name was Jim Haslett, and he was terrible. The Saints also had a quarterback named Aaron Brooks. This guy would laugh after throwing interceptions (which he did ALL the time). So, I vowed that I would not be a devoted fan until these two clowns were gone. My wish came true in 2006 when Mr. Sean Payton came to town. Not only did he clean up the team, but he transformed the city.

Since then, I have been a crazy obsessed fan. Living only 40 minutes from downtown New Orleans encouraged my love for this team even more. In 2007 the Saints made their first NFC Championship appearance. I was working in NOLA as an Executive Assistant at the time and the city literally buzzed with excitement. Whether I was in line at the grocery store or in an elevator with complete strangers, everyone was talking about the Saints! Every car had a "Bless You Boys" sign in their window. We were proud of our team. Well, we ended up losing that game to the Chicago Bears. BUT, our time is now! It only took 42 years, but we've finally made it to the Superbowl. Win or lose, I am so very proud of my team. They've worked hard and deserve every bit of happiness. There is a video of fans in New Orleans right after we won the game. At the end of the video a jazz band and tons of fans marched down Bourbon St. singing the Who Dat chant. If you have a second, please watch it. It made my heart smile, and I hope it makes yours do the same. :o)

http://blog.nola.com/twobitbeat/2010/01/like_mardi_gras_on_red_bull_th.html

what does it all mean?

Yesterday at sunset an earthquake with a 7.0 magnitude hit the country of Haiti. I found out about this incident around 11:00PM and the first thing I thought about was my customers from work that live near Port au Prince. My next thought was "Oh no...what about the children from Compassion?" The children that I sponsor live in Brazil and Bangladesh so I knew they were safe, but what about the others?

I don't know why, but anytime there is a school shooting, natural disaster, or really just life taken away unexpectedly it always hits me hard. Before I became a Christian these things didn't matter to me. Of course I felt bad when I heard of disasters, but it didn't strike a chord. Nowadays, I am impacted by tons of these stories. When the Virginia Tech shooting happened I literally cried for days. When I found out about the murders of Melanie Goodwin, Eve Carson, and Anne Pressly I was a mess. I believe that God uses these situations to impact me for a reason, but I still haven't figured it out yet. I have a very low tolerance for injustice, but what does it all mean?

When pictures of the earthquake damage began being posted online I should have looked away. They don't put a "Warning: Graphic Photos" label on things for nothing. You would think this warning would have stopped me in my tracks, but it didn't. I began to see people of different ages and race lying lifelessly on the street. My heart stopped when I saw a baby girl being held in her father's arm. He was hysterical, and I can only assume she was dead. It's times like these when I wish I had skills to help. If I knew how to fly a plane I could bring supplies. If I was a doctor then I could go help those who are injured. Well, I can't fly a plane and needles freak me out. I hate feeling helpless. I am definitely praying for these people but I want to do more. For now, I will have to sit tight. But what about in the future?

The song that you hear when you come to my blog is called "Change" by Carrie Underwood. It's one of those songs that encourage me to no end. My favorite part of the song is this:

The world's so big it can break your heart
And you just wanna help
Not sure where to start
So you close your eyes
And send up a prayer into the dark

Oh the smallest thing can all the difference
Love is alive
Don't listen to them when they say
You're just a fool
Just a fool
To believe you can change the world

It's tragedies like the Haiti Earthquake that make me question what I am doing with my life. Pastor Fred just preached a sermon on living like you were dying. Well, I'm ready to start doing that. I want to help more and complain less. I want to stop letting all of the little things bring me down. I have been questioning what I am majoring in lately and feel like God is planting a seed in me to change paths. If you guys could, please pray that I would choose the path that He has meant for me. Also, please pray for those in Haiti. They need more than we could ever imagine.

inspiration never dies

Last Wednesday evening started out like any other. Keith and I had just finished eating dinner and we were trying to figure out if we wanted to play cards or watch television. As it turns out the TV won and the channel surfing began. With the hopes of finding something good I began flipping through channels and I stopped when I saw a beautiful young girl singing in a Cinderella play. Her parents were being interview and were talking about how proud they were of her. I thought I was watching a VH1 Driven kind of show, but I was in fact watching a Primetime Special about the murder of Melanie Goodwin. It took me awhile to understand that Melanie had been murdered. I kept waiting for her to be interviewed about her music career, but that never happened. Once I realized this wasn’t Driven I immediately wanted to change the channel. I did not want to know how the singing Fairy Godmother had been murdered. Keith, however, wanted to know what happened, so we kept watching.

Melanie was on her way to her boyfriend’s house one night after work when she stopped at a gas station to pick up a few snacks. While there, she was approached by a man who needed a ride. She told him that she could not do that, and proceeded to purchase the snacks. Upon leaving the gas station, Melanie was raped and beaten. Her body was then burned so badly that the authorities could not identify it. Numerous surveillance cameras recorded Melanie and her killer at the convenience store. Thankfully the footage, along with DNA found on her body, was enough to send her killer to prison for life. Melanie was 19 years old.

As I watched Melanie’s story unfold I kept asking God questions.

How could this happen? Why did it happen? Why didn’t anyone save her? Why did she have to die?? WHY????

I didn’t understand.

When the program ended I began to cry. I was deeply affected by the murder of Melanie Goodwin. My soft tears turned into gut wrenching sobs after a few seconds. As Keith held me I began asking him the same questions I was asking God. Why…??? Although he didn’t have the words to say, he answered my question the best way he knew how. He went over to my computer and played the song “I Still Believe” by Jeremy Camp. He told me that Jeremy wrote this song after losing his wife to cancer. Some of the lyrics are:

Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems I don't know where to start

But it's now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

'Cause I still believe in Your faithfulness
'Cause I still believe in Your truth
'Cause I still believe in Your Holy Word
Even when I don't see, I still believe

I did not know Melanie, but she seemed like an amazing person. You can tell just by looking at photographs of her that she was more than just a pretty face. She was a singer, actress, daughter, sister, friend, student, volunteer, girlfriend, child of God…She was driven. She inspired. The more and more I thought about her death the angrier I became. Melanie didn’t have to die. What if she would have known how to defend herself? What if she would have had a weapon in her car? What if her killer would have been at a different gas station?? There are many what if’s that I can come up with, but the only thing that eases my mind is this:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference

This is not the first time a stranger’s death has affected me. I cried for weeks after the Virginia Tech shooting. I cried when Eve Carson was brutally murdered and stayed glued to the news hoping for new developments. My heart broke when I heard about Anne Pressly being viciously attacked in her home, later dying at the hospital. I know that everything happens for a reason and that God has impeccable timing, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder why these things happen. Inconceivable tragedies like these often have an impact on me, and I’ve always felt that there was a reason for this. I think I became aware of this reason last week after watching Melanie’s story.

God is doing amazing things in my heart and is stirring up an idea so big, so wonderful that I could burst. I can’t do anything to bring Melanie, Anne, or Eve back, but maybe I can help prevent this from happening to someone else. The Lord is moving in me with this idea and I am as excited as ever to tackle it head on. Last Sunday Pastor Fred told us that “God plants a dream in our heart with a thought in our head” and boy was he ever right.

Rest in Peace Melanie

[Photo Credit: Theatre Arlington]

**I severely summed up what happened to Melanie on that terrible night. If you want to know more you can read about it here.**