My Plate Runneth Over

Have you ever been so busy that the wheels in your head never stop turning? Your plate is so full that you feel like at any moment you're going to drop the ball and totally lose your mind? 

Yep, that is my life lately, but for SUCH good reason!

After spending two lovely weeks visiting family and friends in Louisiana, I returned back to Charleston with only 3 weeks to pack up our 5 bedroom home and move 20 minutes down the road to a wonderful new house! We listed the house that has been Keith's home since 2008 and my home since 2010 (minus a year and a half for the time we lived in Atlanta and Charlotte) for sale at the end of December, and by the end of January it had sold. Up until last week we didn't know where we would be living, but thanks to an awesome friend/realtor of ours, we will be renting a lovely 4 bedroom home until we figure out where we'd like to plant some roots next.

Packing is obviously overwhelming, but packing while being a work-from-home mom to 3 kids under age 5 is challenging to say the least. I am finishing up my last editing project for a wedding that I was so honored to capture, and I'm doing my best to juggle an infant, threenager, and preschooler. (Right now the threenager is giving me a run for my money, but we won't let her know that, kay?)

And while that sweet husband of mine is being helpful, he has just started a new job (praise you, God!) and has been quite busy. So all that to say...while I want to allocate time each day to sit and write, because let me tell you there is so much I have to say, I just can't. Not right now. But I'm jotting down notes on my phone, and one day (soon, I hope) when we are settled into our new home, I will share my thoughts with all of you. Everything from the books I'm deeply enjoying to my trip to Louisiana, to traveling solo on a plane with 3 kiddos, placenta encapsulation, and flight school, those posts are coming. 

I hope that you have enjoyed this short update and that your Monday rocks!

Now it's back to packing! :) 

2016

To say that 2016 has been rough would be a huge understatement. While it wasn't all bad, there were many challenging parts. While some relationships flourished, others completely fell apart. Doors were opened, doors were slammed shut. A rough pregnancy and labor produced a beautiful baby boy. Our faith has been tested, but we are still standing. And our marriage is stronger than ever. As this year comes to a close, I am gladly turning the page to the new chapter that is 2017. There is something about a fresh start -- a blank page -- that fills me with hope. Instead of worrying about the future and trying to figure everything out, I've decided that I will just speak life over 2017!

Keith and I have been doing Beth Moore's bible study on King David and it has absolutely changed my life. Truly. But that is a post for another day. However, through this study we read Psalm 20, and it has resuscitated my soul and is what I claim for this new year.

Psalm 20

1 May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;

may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

2 May he send you help from the sanctuary

and grant you support from Zion.

3 May he remember all your sacrifices

and accept your burnt offerings.[b]

4 May he give you the desire of your heart

and make all your plans succeed.

5 May we shout for joy over your victory

and lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the Lord grant all your requests.

6 Now this I know:

The Lord gives victory to his anointed.

He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary

with the victorious power of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

8 They are brought to their knees and fall,

but we rise up and stand firm.

9 Lord, give victory to the king!

Answer us when we call!

What incredibly powerful words! I speak this Psalm over my life and over 2017, as I believe this will not only be a MUCH better year than 2016, but it will be our best year yet!

In addition to choosing this Psalm, I have also been listening to one song in particular and it's become an anthem of sorts. It's called "Shake It Out" by Florence and the Machine and has provided me with lyrics to shout in the shower, tunes to dance to in the kitchen, and words to speak when I am frustrated, confused, or discouraged. 

Did you listen to it? It's good, yeah? (That's the Cajun in me adding yeah at the end :D)

My favorite parts: It's always darkest before the dawn and It's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off. 

After the year my family has had, we are ready to shake the devil off, claim the promises that God's Word says, and have a wonderful year! 

2016 has been a mostly dark year, but the sun is rising, and 2017 is looking bright.

Are you picking Scripture or music to speak over 2017? If so, let me know!

The Place That Built Me

***I wrote this post in August and never published it.
I'm not sure why, but that changes today.***

At the beginning of this month, the kids and I traveled to Louisiana to visit with family and friends. All of the stressful problems that I was keeping quiet about on my last post just became too much, and I needed an escape. So on August 3rd at three o'clock in the morning, we took off for my Aunt's house in the Covington area. The trip was smooth and the kids were perfect, and we arrived around 1:30PM. We stayed in this area for the night and visited with my Aunt, Nanny, and a handful of cousins, and then made our way to the Lafayette area. Over the next 10 days we split our time between my mom's house in New Iberia and my Maw Maw's house in Kaplan.

While there, I felt all the stress and anger that had been crippling me in South Carolina vanish. The hardening stomach, the twitching eye, and the body aches were gone, and I was at peace. Spending time with people that love me for who I am is something that I do not take for granted. While life is Charleston is mostly enjoyable, I've never felt truly at home here. Of course, it's a beautiful place to explore and our location on the East Coast puts us near many desirable travel locations (I'm looking at you, Lake Lure ;)), but I still feel like few really know me. I don't think I'm great with people, and I often feel misunderstood. 

Because of this, I seem to be stuck in limbo. 

The place that I call home is the place where my forever friends and family live. It's a place bursting with culture and community and hospitality. Louisiana.

But the place that my husband and children call home is a place 800 miles away. A place where cobblestone stones streets and Spanish moss transport you to another time, and oysters are eaten instead of crawfish. South Carolina.

While driving down the streets of Lafayette, memories of my youth came rushing back. Meeting friends at local restaurants, shopping at the mall, nights out with my girlfriends, walks in the park...it's like the 30-year-old me traveled through time to 20-year-old me's life.

But that wasn't truly the case.

In reality, while reminiscing over the past, I was shocked and impressed at how much Lafayette has grown since I left. Entire sections of the city that used to be empty fields now contained new roads and routes to get in and out of the city. Grocery stores, restaurants, and businesses that I'd never seen appeared before my eyes and looked like they'd existed for a while.

It felt very surreal to drive the same routes I'd driven down hundreds of times, and yet feel like I was someplace foreign.

Very quickly after arriving, I threw myself a pity party. I don't belong anywhere was my theme, and I began to reevaluate myself and my current predicament in South Carolina. If I don't belong there, and I don't feel like I belong here...then where the heck do I belong?

Luckily, I snapped out of that pretty quickly, but the question remained -- Where do I belong?

I began to pray for peace and direction, and ultimately had a slight wake-up call that didn't happen once I returned to South Carolina. It was one of those Mufasa-in-the-clouds-remember-who-you-are moments. So who am I?

I am the King's Daughter.

I am a Cajun.

I am strong.

I am compassionate.

I have overcome adversity.

I am armed with passion and determination.

I am a wife and mother. 

I am me.

The next time I want to have a pity party because I'm homesick, feel rejected, or am having one of those days, I'll read this list and remind myself of all the things I am, instead of all the things I am not.

I'd be lying if I said it was all rainbows and sunshine during my visit to Louisiana, because being 7 months pregnant and a single parent to two kids under age 5 was freaking hard, and I missed that sweet husband of mine. I also didn't get to see many friends and family that I adore, AND the rain started, didn't stop, and flooded everything. BUT...I loved this visit, I needed this visit, and I've come to a rather obvious conclusion -- Life and death is in the power of the tongue.

So am I speaking life or death? 

Which one are you speaking?

When Keith and I met, I was so closed off and had built so many walls in an effort to protect my heart that I almost missed out on the love of a lifetime. I won't do that again. I won't let my scars and insecurities hinder me from actually living life. I am determined to change my outlook of Charleston and to try to build relationships here. To bloom where I am planted.

And while I don't know if I'll ever live in Louisiana again (I personally hope this isn't the case), I do find comfort in the fact that I can always go back home...and that is one lovely (and delicious) place to be. 

**I am happy to report that since August I've worked on becoming more content in who I am and have begun to grow more in my walk with Christ, as well as in my community. I may be moving at a glacial pace in regards to the latter, but progress is progress...right?**

It Isn't Over

I thought that this dream of mine was over. Well, at least for now...and I was okay with that. I had finally accepted the fact that law school would not be happening. A friend of mine, one who has played a valuable role in my journey to law school, perfectly summed up my experience -- It's like sprinting full speed ahead, and then hitting a brick wall. 

Yep, that's it in a nutshell.

In my last "law school saga" post, I wrote about retaking the LSAT in September, applying to a new batch of law schools, and beginning my legal studies next fall. Then, one night while Keith and I were on a date, a switch was flipped. We were discussing our future, and how retaking the LSAT/applying to new schools guarantees that our family will be moving again (for the sixth time in 4 years) and potentially to a place without any family, friends, or support. Keith works anywhere from 50-80 hours a week, and if we've no family or friends, then our children will be raised by strangers. 

And it was at that moment I realized that I can't do that to them. Gavin and Arabella come first. As much as I know with all of my heart that becoming a lawyer is what I'm meant to do, I also know that now isn't the time. I tried, and it didn't work out. 

My next step is going to be to finish my Master's. I've changed my major to Human Services Counseling with a Criminal Justice cognate, and I'll go from there. If I end up going to law school later in life, that would be incredible. If not, then I have to believe that that's what is best for myself and for my family. 

So, that's it, right? Everything is figured out.

Wrong. 

So, so wrong. 

You see, I decided all of the above in July. I had accepted my current scenario, but never stopped thinking about law school. One night, I decided to look for law programs offered in an online format. I found a few of those, but none that were accredited by the American Bar Association. No accreditation = no bar exam = no way to become a practicing attorney. Then, I found a law school in California that is 100% online, but you're only allowed to take the California bar. That option didn't work either.

Then, I hit the jackpot.

I found a brand new program that begins in January 2015 at William Mitchell College of Law. It's called the Hybrid Program and would allow me to complete each semester's work online. (!!!!!) I would have to visit their campus in St. Paul, Minnesota 9 times over four years for a Capstone week at the end of each semester, as well as at the beginning of 1L. This program is accredited, which means I can take the bar and become a practicing attorney, and is a perfect fit for me! 

Y'all. 

Am I dreaming? 

It feels like a dream. 

It feels like the game was over, and then straight out of left field, I've been given one. more. chance. I've already applied, and am just praying my little heart out that I am accepted. I know that God has this under control, and if I'm not accepted now, then He has something better in store. However, I have a good feeling about this. God closed the door for me at Charleston Law, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if the heartbreak and confusion led me to William Mitchell. 

If you're reading this and feeling hopeless, loss, or defeated, I want you to know that it's not over until He says that it's over. Never give up. Never give in. Turn that frown upside down. Keep fighting. You never know what your future holds. 

For me, I hope that the future is a lovely school in Minnesota. :)

(Picture source)

A Big, Fat Curve Ball

I can't believe that I am about to write this post. Where do I even begin...

As my last post stated, I have been accepted to law school. I applied to 9 schools, and was accepted at 4, wait listed at 3, and rejected at 2. I accepted an enrollment offer and paid the first seat deposit at the Charleston School of Law. My family and I relocated back in October 2013 to North Carolina, and made the decision to move back to our house in Charleston, SC after being accepted at Charleston Law. 

Everything seemed perfect. I thought I had finally done it. I'd finally taken the awful LSAT, survived the law school application process, and was on my way to beginning my legal career. 

And then I read an article with the headline "Charleston School of Law founders withdrew $25 million in profits leaving school on shaky financial ground."

....um, what?!?!

Basically, to make a long story short...

Two of the three remaining founders at Charleston School of Law have made poor decisions that resulted in financial instability for the school. These two founders decided that the best option for CSOL would be to sell the school to a Florida based company called Infilaw. This company owns three other law schools, and has a reputation of being a diploma mill. Infilaw is required to have license approval from the Commission on Higher Education to purchase the school, and at the beginning of June a decision was supposed to be made regarding this license. However, the day before the vote, Infilaw suspended their license application. Also, this saga with CSOL and Infilaw has been going on since July 2013. 

This is the summed up version, of course. Due to this information, I will not be attending law school this fall. As an accepted student, it has been a completely agonizing journey. I have worked extremely hard, and to have this happen is just heartbreaking.

The future of Charleston Law remains unknown, and I do not feel any peace about enrolling at this establishment. I don't doubt that Infilaw is capable of running a successful law school, however with such minimal community support of this transaction, and the disgusting behavior of the two founders, I just can't board a sinking ship in good conscience. I've spent more time than I care to share playing out different scenarios, questioning my future, being angry, crying tears of frustration, and just being confused about this situation. 

Why in the world would I make it this far in the law school process to stop now? 

And what the frick just happened? 

I believe with my whole heart that everything happens for a reason. It's cliche, but true. God knew that this was going to happen. He knew that I'd encounter this situation. And while I seemed to forget this for a while, I'm hanging on to this truth now. He hasn't abandoned me. 

So what is my next step?

I could have tried to enroll at a different school that I was accepted at or pursued a wait list, but since my family just moved back to Charleston, that option wasn't any good. I know that I am called to be an attorney, so I can't quit trying now just because this curve ball has come my way. 

After numerous conversations with Keith, we have decided that I will retake the LSAT in September. My score from the February test was disappointing, and this time I will have 3.5 months to study and will be applying at the beginning of the admission cycle. I'd be lying if I said that I was happy about this decision, but it's mandatory if I want to get accepted next year at a better law school, and hopefully with a scholarship.

It's a bit surreal to me that this has happened, but I'm trusting that God has this under control. I mean, doesn't He always?

Accepted

Where do I even begin? My last post was written back in February and recapped my experience with the LSAT. Fast forward to May and I've received my LSAT score, applied to law schools, and have heard back from all but one law school. I am beyond excited to share that I've been accepted!!!! I applied to 9 schools, and was accepted at 4, waitlisted at 2, rejected at 2, and have yet to hear back from one. 

Y'all. I didn't even think I'd get in! My whole life I never thought that I was good enough or smart enough...or really just enough. The enemy has tried and succeed in allowing me to doubt myself and had me believing that I could never accomplish something like this. But my God is greater than that. He has used people and stories to direct me towards this calling, and I am so incredibly thankful for this opportunity.

I have to be honest though. I still have days of doubt. Days when fear creeps in and I being to question everything. Can I actually do this? How will I manage motherhood and law school? What the heck am I thinking starting law school? Those days are awful and dark, but they always come to an end. And after those days, I always have more confirmation and peace that I am doing exactly what I am called to do. God is going to work out the details, and I'm going to continue being passionate about fighting injustices. 

If you are at a crossroads right now,  whether big or small, I'd like to encourage you to dream big. Don't choose a path because it's easier, or because it's the comfortable choice. Don't avoid a goal because you believe that you could never accomplish it. My favorite movie and one of my all time favorite quotes comes from Jimmy Dougan (Tom Hanks). "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." 

Law school is definitely going to be hard, but I accept the challenge. I'm excited for this new chapter, and am just beyond proud of myself for never, ever giving up. 

Playing Catch Up

It's been two months since I've last written and so much has changed. For starters, I am happy to report that things are much better since my last post, where it seemed like my family and I were under attack. Here's what we've been up to:

* We moved again! For the fourth time in three years, my family and I have relocated. We are now living in North Carolina, in the lovely town of Mooresville (just 30 minutes north of Charlotte). This move was very sudden, but it is a great one for my family. Keith works mostly in NC, and now we will be seeing a lot more of him. :) So far we are loving Mooresville and cannot wait to start this new chapter with our kiddos.

* I started graduate school in August! I am currently taking my second class and enjoying the material. I'm in the online criminal justice graduate program at the University of Cincinnati, and currently contemplating transferring to a different school to enroll in an MBA program with an emphasis on criminal justice. Regardless, I am happy with this decision to further my education. :)

* Arabella is now four-months-old and Gavin is now 20-months-old! These two sweet (and sometimes crazy) kiddos keep me very busy, but I absolutely adore it. Being a mom is my greatest joy and I love that I get to spend my days at home with them. 

* We are selling our house in Charleston, South Carolina! Obviously we've moved to North Carolina, and we have decided to sell! The last time we moved we rented our house, but that experience was awful. So we're going to try and sell our house. This is such a huge decision for us. My husband bought this house back in 2008 when he was only 23-years-old. It was his first major purchase and means a lot to him. The fact that he is willing to sell this house means the world to me. Once it is listed, I'll post information for anyone who is looking to buy in the Charleston area.

*Halloween came and went, and while we don't really celebrate it I couldn't pass up the opportunity to dress up my kiddos. My little Eric and Ariel. :) 

That's all I've got for today. I'm off to unpack our new home and to spend time with my babies! I'm really hoping to write more. I feel like writing helps to not only document this beautiful life, but to also give me a second to reflect on everything, and have some "me time", too. :) 

I hope you guys have a lovely Monday!

(Halloween pictures were taken by the same lovely photographer who took my maternity and Arabella's birth and newborn pics. Tamara at Bump Meet Baby Studio. :)

Come What May

 

To say that my family and I have had a rough couple of weeks would be an understatement. It seems like everything is going wrong. I'm sure you're thinking I'm being dramatic, but let me fill you in on just a few things that have happened over the last couple of weeks:

 

* My debit card number was stolen and our checking account was drained.

* I fell down the stairs, scraped my arm, and got a bruise the size of Texas on my rear.

* Keith had his worst month of sales since entering his industry in 2011.

* While hammering a nail to hang a picture on the day of my husband's birthday gathering, I punctured the freon line and caused $$$ in damage.

* Gav drove his Tonka truck over my iPad and cracked the screen. 

More things have happened, but I'll stop the list at five. (And yes, the iPad getting cracked isn't too much of a big deal, but add in a broken laptop and a graduate program starting next week and we've got a situation!) I was fixing to write a post about seasons and the ups and downs of life, and then I remembered that I wrote a guest post for my lovely friend Al over at Traffic Jelly a little over a year ago. The same words written then still ring true today, so I thought I'd share it here on My Dolce Vita.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

While blog hopping one night in 2010, I stumbled upon a beautiful girl in the midst of a heartbreaking season. I didn't know anything about her except that she was strong, honest, and raw. I love that about Al. :) So when she reached out for guest postings, I didn't think twice. Today I am inspired by Al to write about something that so often enters my mind, and that is the seasons of life.

 

We all go through them. Some are wonderful, some are messy, and some are just plain rotten. We get hit by life's curve balls and sometimes it's too easy to accept defeat or think that things cannot possibly get better. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. But here's the thing -- the season will change. Things will change. After all, they are called seasons. 

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and each season we go through teaches us valuable lessons. Whether you are forced to learn the hard way or are blessed with a joyful season, it doesn't matter. Nothing stays the same. As a new Mom, I am learning this daily. My son, Gavin, was born on Leap Day and is already 4 months old. This tiny little soul who used to sleep all day has found his voice and is now quite the random screamer. He is rolling around, scooting across the floor, trying to eat his toes, and at this very moment, making gargling noises. So much has changed in only 4 months that I want to grab time by the shoulders and say "PLEEEEASE. Slow. Down!"

But I can't.

And that's why we need to soak in every season. Time is fleeting. Do I like 4am feedings and poopy diapers? Of course not. But will I miss them on his first day of school or when he learns how to drive? Absolutely. (My stomach just sank at the thought of my baby being a teen...woah.) For me, this season would be considered a good one. But rewind to January and things weren't so peachy. My husband's company filed bankruptcy and laid off everyone when I was 8 months pregnant. And while losing his income hurt, the biggest lost was our health insurance. We had recently relocated to Atlanta, GA for his job and were now stuck with with no job, no insurance, and no family. Oy. Let's just say it was a stressful, scary season.

But you know what? Everything worked out. We ended up applying for health assistance through the government and were approved a week before Gavin was born. I delivered a healthy baby boy without any complications, and in March my husband received a job offer for the best job he's ever had. In a matter of months everything completely turned around. Without a doubt, we give 100% credit to the one who holds us in His hands.

I personally think the most important thing to do when stuck in an unpleasant or unfortunate season and is to not lose faith. Don't give up hope. Persevere. Things may have to get worse before they get better, but I can promise you that eventually, it will get better. When I think about past seasons, I tend to chuckle a bit. In high school I was confident my life was over when I didn't make the cheerleading squad junior year. In middle school, I just knew that was it when I got caught passing notes. And when I was making poor choices in my wild season and feeling more than lost, I just knew things would never get better. But I was wrong.

Just remember that it takes time to transition from one season to the next. Also remember that the tough ones will make you stronger. I hope this post encouraged you to hang on, keep the faith, and know that you are not alone.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

 Deuteronomy 31:6 

~~~~~~~~~~~

So, we're praising Him in this storm. Because as with all seasons, this storm is on its way out!

Arabella's Birth Story

On the night of my due date (June 27th), I was getting ready for bed when I started noticing that my Braxton Hicks contractions were actually becoming a bit consistent. Throughout this pregnancy I have had many BH contractions, but none that were consistent. So this definitely caught my attention! They began at around 11:00pm, but I tried to go to sleep anyway. Around 12:30am I was wide awake thanks to the contractions. I got out of bed and decided to go downstairs and really time these bad boys. :) They were coming every 7 minutes, like clockwork, but I didn't want to call my doctor or wake Keith yet. I continued timing them until 3:00am, and they had gone from every 7 minutes to every 5 minutes. 

Now things were getting serious! 

I called my doctor and he instructed me to make my way to the hospital. I woke Keith up and told him that it was go-time! He showered, and I did my best to fix my hair and put some make-up on. As painful as the contractions were, I wanted to look nice. I was going to be meeting my daughter soon! I'd say that's reason enough to look nice. :) My in-laws arrived a little before 4:00am to stay with Gavin, and Keith and I were on our way.

At the hospital...while things were still semi-calm

When we arrived at the hospital I was sent straight to the Labor and Delivery floor. By this time it was a little after 4:00am (we live right by the hospital) and the contractions were getting much more intense. I was informed that I had dilated to 4cm and that was very exciting, as I was only 3cm at my last appointment a few days prior. After monitoring Bella's heart rate and the contractions for an hour, Keith and I took a walk around the L&D floor. This only lasted for about 20 minutes before I decided it was time to get back to our room. 

Walking the halls

At 6:30am, my amazing photographer, Tamara, arrived, and by 8:00am my doctor was there to check my progress. I was hoping for a few more centimeters, and boy did I luck out! I was 7cm!!! My water still had not broken, and I declined the offer from my doc for him to break it. Instead, I spent the next 20 minutes in a hot, whirlpool bathtub. This definitely felt amazing, but my contractions were coming quicker and were getting more and more painful. I decided to get out of the tub and get back into bed. I had a feeling that Arabella was going to be born soon, and I didn't want to be in the tub.

At 9:00am I made a comment to Keith and Tamara that Gavin was born at 9:16am and maybe Bella would arrive at the same time. Keith didn't think things would happen that quickly, and said "Well, maybe by 9:30?" 

And do you know what time my daughter arrived? 

9:08am!!!!

Only 8 minutes after that conversation, and an hour and 8 minutes after being 7cm, my daughter was born.

I was checked 5 minutes before her arrival and was told that I was 9.5cm. The nurse left the room to grab a delivery table, so it was just me, Keith, and Tamara. The next thing I knew, my water burst! I let out an atrocious yell, and Tamara ran to get help! It was just me and Keith in our room, and I told him that I needed to push. At this point we really thought he was going to have to deliver our baby! I asked him to look and let me know if he could see her, and sure enough she was there! And boy did she have a lot of dark hair! :D 

The nurses came running in, and a doctor I had never met before said "Hi, I'm doctor so-and-so" and then caught my daughter! Everything happened SO fast! The doctor didn't even have time to put gloves on! A few minutes later my doctor ran in the room and could not believe that he missed it. I told him that unless he was still on the L&D floor there's no way he could have run fast enough. Baby girl was ready to make her big debut, with or without my doc. :)

I got to hold Arabella immediately for a few minutes for skin to skin, Keith cut her umbilical cord, and then the clean-up process began. Due to the fact that Arabella came so quickly, I had a pretty significant second degree tear. But, I have never felt more amazing or more alive than I did after that delivery. (Well, other than after Gav's natural birth.) In fact, as I was getting taken care of, I was eating animal crackers and drinking water. Oh, the joys of a natural birth!

Tamara filmed a short clip of Arabella crying and we put it on Instagram with the hopes that my Me-Maw would see her. And you know what? She did. :') It was one of the last times that my Me-Maw was conscious. Arabella was born at 9:08am on June 28th, and my Me-Maw passed away at 6:21pm on June 29th. But she got to see my baby girl. And while my heart hurts deeply, I am thankful that she saw her 4th great-grandchild.

Keith left the hospital and went pick-up Gavin so that he could meet his baby sister. And I have to be honest...this did not go as I had planned. I had this Kodak moment in my mind, and it was just a mess. Gavin had been awake since 4am (when Keith and I left for the hospital) and was extremely fussy. He cried the whole time and wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. Needless to say, Keith didn't stay long and brought Gavin home for a nap.

They returned later that day and things went much better, but that initial meeting was a complete failure. My amazing photographer stayed with me to capture some pretty precious moments, but she also took great care of me. Tamara, you are exquisite and I don't know what we would have done without you! :)

Once she left, it was just me and Arabella in our recovery room. I became so overwhelmed by the events of the morning. I kept thanking God and praising Him. He orchestrated this amazing natural birth and I felt His presence through every contraction, every bit of pain. During each contraction, I would remember the scripture that I memorized the weeks prior. I knew what God's word said, and I kept meditating on those promises. I am 100% certain that without my faith, I would have never been able to achieve a second natural birth. It was ALL Him, because I am completely incapable of accomplishing something like that on my own, especially in a hospital environment.

I would like to say that there is a huge misconception about natural birth, especially a natural birth in a hospital. My natural birth was not filled with screaming or cussing or stress. It was not a hostile environment. In fact, the only time I yelled out was when my water broke. Instead, it was full of love and anticipation and beauty. I was completely blessed by the nurses and hospital staff who took care of me. They were simply amazing. I delivered at Trident Medical Center in North Charleston and cannot speak highly enough about my experience. I was a bit worried about delivering at this hospital because Trident has a somewhat bad reputation in Charleston. Why? I have no idea. I had an incredible experience and am very thankful for Trident. 

The video below was put together by my photographer and shows just how beautiful this experience was. The song used is Keith's ringtone, and once my photographer heard it she knew that was the perfect song to use. The video has been known to cause waterworks, so watch with caution. :)  

The Birth of Arabella from Tamara Hart on Vimeo.

I still cannot believe that I have a daughter. It's still hard for me to understand how I am worthy enough to have these two little, incredible blessings. I am a Mom. A mom to two precious souls, and I am thankful beyond words to have been chosen.

**These beautiful pictures were taken by the talented Bump Meet Baby Studio. I cannot recommend Tamara enough...she is simply divine, and I am in love with these photographs.**

Happy Due Date Day!

Well, today is Arabella's due date...and I am still pregnant. :) I have to say, I did not think that she would still be in my womb on this day, but that's fine by me. I keep reminding myself that a due date is only an estimate of her arrival, and if she's not ready yet, then I certainly do not mind housing her. :) 

 Taken yesterday - 39 weeks, 6 days

I will admit that I am not proud of my lack of patience. I've been quite annoying lately with my constant whining. Any woman nearing her due date can probably relate, and I'm sure it's totally normal to be in this impatient state of mind. But it makes me feel completely insane sometimes. I should probably explain a little more of my situation though. 

About a month ago, my grandmother (Me-Maw) had her gull bladder removed due to some pain she was experiencing. After the surgery, we discovered that she actually has cancer of the liver and has been on a steady decline in health since. The doctors have told us that they think she only has a few days left to live, and it is completely breaking my heart. This all happened so quickly!

 Me-Maw and me on my wedding day

She is only 71 years old and has always been in great health. My Me-Maw is such a wonderful woman and I hate that she is going through this. More than anything, I'm praying that Arabella arrives before Me-Maw passes away. It would mean the world to me for her to see my daughter. And it's just backwards. Me-Maw is supposed to be here for this. Right?!? I did speak to her recently on FaceTime and she told me congratulations and that Bella looks just like me...I'm not sure if she's seen her or if she's just confused, but hearing her say that made my heart happy. 

So, while I don't have any control over the timing of arrivals and departures, I am trusting that the Lord knows exactly what He's doing. Because He does.

Another thing that is adding to the anticipation of Arabella's arrival is the fact that I'm going to attempt to have another natural birth. I was successful with delivering Gavin naturally and everything went as well as it possibly could have. And that makes me nervous. How will Bella's labor/delivery go? Will it be harder? Is it possible for it to be easier? Physically, I think the odds are in my favor. I know what I'm getting myself into this time and am in much better shape for this pregnancy. Mentally, I am my biggest obstacle. So, in trying to prepare I've been soaking in the following verses with the hopes that I will remember them during labor.

Cast all of your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you. 

1 Peter 5:7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

God is our refuge and strength; an ever-present help in times of trouble.

Psalm 46:1

It is only a matter of time before my daughter arrives and my whole world changes again. Life is stressful, but I'm trying my best to just breathe and trust in Him. Until her arrival, I'm going to try and relax and just enjoy these crazy last few days of pregnancy. 

Dear Arabella

Hi, precious girl. This is your momma, but you know that, don't you? Today makes exactly two weeks until your due date, and I am one anxious woman. I absolutely cannot wait to see your beautiful face. To see what color hair you have, what color eyes, if you look like your Daddy or like me. You have been one active little girl in my tummy, and I absolutely adore feeling you move inside my womb. This pregnancy has gone by very quickly and I am shocked at how soon you will be in this world. :D

I want you to know how much your Daddy, brother, and I love you. 

Every night, when Daddy is home and not traveling for work, he rubs lotion on my belly. Mostly because Mommy is trying to avoid getting stretch marks, but also because it helps my growing belly not to itch. I secretly think Daddy does it without complaining because of you. :) He also talks to you a lot. When he found out that you were a girl, he was very quiet and overcome with emotion. Daddy is very protective of you and will always make sure that you are safe. He is so excited to welcome you into this world and is very proud of you already.

As for your brother, he is only 15 months old, but is constantly touching my belly. He adores you so and I think the two you of you are going to be best buds. :) Gavin is a very happy, affectionate boy and I just know that you will love him, too. 

And then there's me. I cannot accurately describe my love for you. When your brother was born, I finally understood how much a person could love another. More so, I understood God's love for us because of how much I love your brother. And that's exactly how much I love you. It's an incredible thing, really. There's so much I want to teach you and tell you and show you. I know that the mother-daughter relationship can be a complicated one, but I promise to be as caring, compassionate, and understanding as possible. I promise to be a good listener and to always provide a safe place for your heart.

One day you'll stumble upon this website, or maybe even a book that I'll have printed for you and your brother. I know that I haven't written a lot during my pregnancy with you, but please do not over analyze. It's only because your brother has kept me quite busy. ;)

I adore you, precious girl. You are going to do amazing things in this world and I am proud to be your mommy.

**These beautiful pictures were taken by the talented Bump Meet Baby Studio. I cannot recommend Tamara enough...she is simply divine, and I am in love with these photographs.**

Graduation!!!

* Hello, blog readers and friends. Before I start this post, I'd like to comment about my previous post. You know, the one where I declared that my family's NYC trip was absolutely going to happen? Yeah...I need to remember that I do not control everything. Particulary, the excruciating back pain that filled my 28 week pregnant (at the time) body the week before our trip. Needless to say, the trip was postponed. Please note that I am getting pretty tired of writing about pending trips that end up not happening, so in the future, I will not be posting about travel plans until the day they happen.*

This past weekend, my family and I made the 6ish hour drive from our home in Charleston, South Carolina to Virginia Beach, Virginia so that I could attend my college's graduation ceremony. We left on Thursday morning and arrived to gorgeous 70 and sunny weather. The ceremony wasn't until Saturday morning, so we had plenty of time to relax, recoup from the drive, and spend time together. During this time, we visited campus for the first time, had dinner with my in-laws, and I was treated to a much needed mani/pedi.

 My school!

Come Saturday morning at 5:45am, I was wide awake and prepared to face the day. Technically, I had already finished my studies in December 2012 and actually already had my diploma at home. But, there is just something about wearing that silly cap and large gown that makes a person rejoice. It made the last 6 years (yes, six) of my studies come to life.

While the ceremony was quite lovely, the weather was not. It was around 50 degrees and misting non-stop. You know, the kind of mist that gets you soaking wet but doesn't show up on the forecast? Yep, our outdoor ceremony was a bit damp. 

But it didn't matter.

It didn't matter that I was 32 weeks pregnant, cold, and wet.

It didn't matter that so many times I wanted to quit. That over the course of my studies I was beat down and exhausted and just plain ready for a break.

What mattered was that my husband, son, mother-in-law, and father-in-law were on campus, watching me graduate. 

What mattered was that my Louisiana family was in numerous locations (Baton Rouge, Houston, TX, and Mississippi), watching me graduate via the live video feed. 

What mattered was that my daughter, who was extremely active that morning, would be carried in my womb and cross the stage with me when my name was announced.

What mattered was that in this moment, all of those exhausting days were over. I had accomplished something that seemed impossible.

It's hard to describe the emotions I felt on this wonderful day. There was so much happiness present and I am just extremely grateful. I am beyond proud to be a Regent University graduate. The Christian education I received has shaped me into the person that I am today. The discipline I learned from being an online student is absolutely invaluable. The many professors and classmates that I have worked with have challenged me and helped me grow. And while I am sad that this chapter is finally over, I am excited to see what the future holds. Praise God for all of His blessings!

No. 5 - Graduate From College

On December 15th, I submitted the final assignment of my undergraduate career. :) Last week, I received an email confirming that I have met all of the requirements and will be receiving my diploma shortly. I have earned a B.S. in Criminal Justice. :D

It took me six long years, but I finally finished my undergraduate journey at Regent University. During this time, I became engaged, got married, was pregnant, had a baby, am pregnant, and moved six times. I've grown so much over these years and my life is drastically different from 2007.

 March 2007 - Feels like a lifetime ago!

I have so many mixed emotions about completing my undergraduate studies. Of course, I'm so very excited to wrap everything up and to finally have a college degree. More than anything, I am thankful that I found what it is I am passionate about and the field that I am called to be in. But at the same time I am truly sad. I loved taking classes, and these past two years allowed me to dive into my criminal justice curriculum. I miss the challenges, the papers, the interaction with my professors and classmates, but most of all I just miss learning.

With my sweet son turning one in a month and a half, and my precious daughter arriving in this world in June, I am definitely in a different season of learning. And I love it. While I miss school, I know that my educational journey is not over. Until then, I'm embracing this time with my amazing husband and son, and awaiting Arabella's arrival.

In May, my family and I are heading to Virginia Beach so that I can participate in Regent's commencement ceremony. I will finally get to wear that cap and gown, meet fellow classmates and professors, and have a very surreal moment that I have been waiting for since 2007. :)

A New, Exciting Year

Last night, Keith, Gavin, and I rang in the new year with some of our absolute favorite people. We spent the night eating delicious gumbo and potato salad (made by my sweet sis), playing Battle of the Sexes, watching the LSU/Clemson game, and ending the night playing a name-that-actor/movie game. All in all it was the perfect way to end 2012.

As we enjoy the first day of 2013, I can't help but think about what I'd like to accomplish this year. I don't like to make resolutions, because I know that they likely won't happen. Come March, they'll be forgotten and that will be that. However, I do like to make goals, put them in writing, and stick them on my vanity so that I can see them everyday. So, here's what I'm thinking for 2013.

1. Grow in my relationship with Jesus. Soak up His word and let Him lead the way.

That is all.

The way I figure, if I do this one thing, then everything else will fall into place. Becoming a better mom and wife, living a healthier lifestyle, tackling my 30 Before 30, following the cry of my heart...all of those things will happen. Why's that? Well, because when my spirit is fed, I thrive. When I study His word, my heart soars. And when I stop trying to control everything (which is extremely hard for me to do) all my worries fade and things just work out. :)

I pray that you guys are enjoying today, and that this year will be filled with love!

Moments to Remember in 2012

2012 was quite a year! While I wasn't the best blogger, I was busy finishing up school, being a mommy and wife, moving a few times, and overall just learning how to be a better me. This year was definitely filled with abundant blessings! 

January 7th - My 26th Birthday 

January 15th - Cabin trip to Ellijay, Georgia  

January 29th - South Carolina Baby Shower

February 29th - Gavin Josiah was born!

March 7th - Two year anniversary

(Gav was one week old, so this is what we did. :) )

March 15th - KC got his new job

April 15th - Moved back to Charleston 

May 13th - My 1st Mother's Day 

May 28th - Visit to Chimney Rock Park in Asheville, NC

June 17th - Keith's 1st Father's Day 

 (The only picture I have of them on this day)

June 22nd - Gav's first time rolling over

July 26th - Keith's 27th Birthday

August 31 - Trip to Gatlinburg, TN

September 8th - Moved back into our house :)

September 19th - Gav's first time crawling!

October 23rd - Found out we're expecting baby #2

November 22nd - 26th - Louisiana/Texas Thanksgiving

December 15th - I finished my undergraduate studies!!!!

(This is how I finished most of my final semester)

December 25th - Gavin's first Christmas

 

I am very much looking forward to what 2013 holds for my family.

Happy New Year!!!

:)