A case of the "What Ifs"

Have you ever gotten a case of the "What Ifs"? You know, the "What if I would have done this or that? Moved here or there? How would my life be now if I would have done the what if?" Well, this morning I came down with the "What Ifs" about a decision I made about attending a certain college back in 2008.

Before I begin my story, let me just say that I am very happy with the way my life is now. I adore my amazing husband and know that at this point in time, we are exactly where we should be. Here goes nothing...

In 2008, I applied to the American University at Rome located in Rome, Italy.

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I sent in my application, ACT test scores, high school transcripts, and college transcripts. I had my heart set on moving there and felt that God was leading the way. All I had to do was send in one last requirement and then I would have known whether or not I was accepted. I never sent in the final step because I had met a boy and felt I should stay here in the states. At the time I was pretty torn about this decision, but it worked out for the best. The boy I met is my ex-boyfriend, and because of him I met my husband.

While I didn't think so at the time, God had plan. When I thought He was crazy, God knew exactly what He was doing. His timing is impeccable, whether we like it or not. I didn't understand one bit why He would have my sights set on Italy, then switch them to a boy I would eventually break up with, only to date a different boy I would eventually marry that I met through my ex! Ah!

Alright, so back to why I am having the "What Ifs"...

The other day I was on 20 Something Bloggers' discussion board and read a post titled "Where in the world would YOU live?" Innocently enough, I clicked the link. There I read about a girl named Joy who started the discussion. Joy is moving to Cambodia soon to volunteer full-time with survivors of human trafficking. How amazing is that?!? Then I read about another girl who is living in Australia for two years and then is headed to Ireland in 2011. Something that she said really bothered me:

"I say, MEGA props to us who have/will/decided to MAKE IT HAPPEN!! So many people dream, and just sit back "waiting" for the opportunity to come to them. I am all for people going after their dreams!"

I thought to myself, "Wow. Am I going to always be a dreamer, or will I become a doer?" This morning before Keith and I even got out of bed I asked him this. "Do you think we could ever live abroad, maybe in Italy, for like a year**? Like we were stationed there or something?!? We could immerse ourselves in the culture, do street ministry and volunteer at orphanages..." I guess I should have waited until he was fully awake before I started rambling. (Lol, oops.)

He was obviously caught off guard, but he didn't shoot down the idea. He told me that if this is a desire in my heart that I should ask God to make it clear to both of us. He told me not to worry, and to be patient. The desire will come to pass, or be lived out. Regardless, Keith and I decided to start planning vacations and actually living out our dreams to see the world. :o)

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After having this conversation with KC, my case of the "What Ifs" vanished. I have always been a full-time dreamer and a part-time doer. However, I am excited about our future. I hope that one day when we're old, we can be like the couple in "Up", except we will have traveled to our Paradise Falls and look back at marvelous memories to share with our grandchildren. :o)

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**Side Note - This morning I was visiting Virginia Belle's blog, and her most recent post was about the movie/book Eat, Pray, Love. It's about a woman who spends 1 year traveling, and her first stop is Italy. So. Weird! I promise that I did not see this trailer before I spoke with Keith about living in Italia for a year. :o) (Although I will be reading the book asap.)