Our New Normal

A few days have passed since our family of 5 moved to the new house, and we are slowly getting the hang of our new normal. As someone who loves organization and order, having our home in disorder is driving me a bit insane. I have to consciously remind myself that it will take some time to unpack, and everything will eventually find its place. Boxes litter each and every room of the home, closets are half full, and toys are everywhere...and we are exhausted. 

Exhausted, but thankful. 

Keith and I have been riding a ferocious wave and the season we are coming out of has been hard, but God was good and is good and has provided for us. One day we will share all that He has done for us...all of the blessings that came out of each horrible situation. I know that's incredibly vague, but  the grace we have seen and the mountains that have been moved deserve more that just a shout-out on this post. 

This fresh start that we have been given has us only 20 minutes from our old house, but those 20 minutes put us in a new suburb of Charleston. We now reside in Summerville, the home of azalea flowers and sweet tea. So far, we are enjoying living on this side of town and look forward to meeting our neighbors and creating wonderful memories. Gavin and I will pick back up with homeschool preschool (while Arabella joins us here and there) in the next few days, and that will hopefully give us a better handle on our daily routine.

We are currently renting a home here, and this both excites and terrifies me. It's exciting that we aren't chained to one location and can easily move to a new area or home (although I prefer not as moving absolutely sucks), but I am also terrified because of the same reason -- we do not technically have roots right now. We are excited to get involved at our new church, but have no commitment to this area besides the short lease we signed. But if I've learned anything at all, it has been this -- this is where faith comes in. 

Instead of trying to figure everything out right now, I am giving it all to the One who actually does hold my world in His hands. I fully believe that the crazy things that happened during our dark season all led us to where we are now. It can be hard to let go of the reins and truly trust God's plan, but He knows the desires of our hearts. He knows what we yearn for and what we aspire to be, and I can only hope and trust that he will use us for His kingdom. So we will pray, trust, and immerse ourselves in the city we currently reside, and will reevaluate our location in 6 months time (when our lease is up). 

One incredibly important thing that I am so thankful to truly feel is that no matter where my family resides location wise, as long as we are together, I am home. And that is a beautiful thing.

The Place That Built Me

***I wrote this post in August and never published it.
I'm not sure why, but that changes today.***

At the beginning of this month, the kids and I traveled to Louisiana to visit with family and friends. All of the stressful problems that I was keeping quiet about on my last post just became too much, and I needed an escape. So on August 3rd at three o'clock in the morning, we took off for my Aunt's house in the Covington area. The trip was smooth and the kids were perfect, and we arrived around 1:30PM. We stayed in this area for the night and visited with my Aunt, Nanny, and a handful of cousins, and then made our way to the Lafayette area. Over the next 10 days we split our time between my mom's house in New Iberia and my Maw Maw's house in Kaplan.

While there, I felt all the stress and anger that had been crippling me in South Carolina vanish. The hardening stomach, the twitching eye, and the body aches were gone, and I was at peace. Spending time with people that love me for who I am is something that I do not take for granted. While life is Charleston is mostly enjoyable, I've never felt truly at home here. Of course, it's a beautiful place to explore and our location on the East Coast puts us near many desirable travel locations (I'm looking at you, Lake Lure ;)), but I still feel like few really know me. I don't think I'm great with people, and I often feel misunderstood. 

Because of this, I seem to be stuck in limbo. 

The place that I call home is the place where my forever friends and family live. It's a place bursting with culture and community and hospitality. Louisiana.

But the place that my husband and children call home is a place 800 miles away. A place where cobblestone stones streets and Spanish moss transport you to another time, and oysters are eaten instead of crawfish. South Carolina.

While driving down the streets of Lafayette, memories of my youth came rushing back. Meeting friends at local restaurants, shopping at the mall, nights out with my girlfriends, walks in the park...it's like the 30-year-old me traveled through time to 20-year-old me's life.

But that wasn't truly the case.

In reality, while reminiscing over the past, I was shocked and impressed at how much Lafayette has grown since I left. Entire sections of the city that used to be empty fields now contained new roads and routes to get in and out of the city. Grocery stores, restaurants, and businesses that I'd never seen appeared before my eyes and looked like they'd existed for a while.

It felt very surreal to drive the same routes I'd driven down hundreds of times, and yet feel like I was someplace foreign.

Very quickly after arriving, I threw myself a pity party. I don't belong anywhere was my theme, and I began to reevaluate myself and my current predicament in South Carolina. If I don't belong there, and I don't feel like I belong here...then where the heck do I belong?

Luckily, I snapped out of that pretty quickly, but the question remained -- Where do I belong?

I began to pray for peace and direction, and ultimately had a slight wake-up call that didn't happen once I returned to South Carolina. It was one of those Mufasa-in-the-clouds-remember-who-you-are moments. So who am I?

I am the King's Daughter.

I am a Cajun.

I am strong.

I am compassionate.

I have overcome adversity.

I am armed with passion and determination.

I am a wife and mother. 

I am me.

The next time I want to have a pity party because I'm homesick, feel rejected, or am having one of those days, I'll read this list and remind myself of all the things I am, instead of all the things I am not.

I'd be lying if I said it was all rainbows and sunshine during my visit to Louisiana, because being 7 months pregnant and a single parent to two kids under age 5 was freaking hard, and I missed that sweet husband of mine. I also didn't get to see many friends and family that I adore, AND the rain started, didn't stop, and flooded everything. BUT...I loved this visit, I needed this visit, and I've come to a rather obvious conclusion -- Life and death is in the power of the tongue.

So am I speaking life or death? 

Which one are you speaking?

When Keith and I met, I was so closed off and had built so many walls in an effort to protect my heart that I almost missed out on the love of a lifetime. I won't do that again. I won't let my scars and insecurities hinder me from actually living life. I am determined to change my outlook of Charleston and to try to build relationships here. To bloom where I am planted.

And while I don't know if I'll ever live in Louisiana again (I personally hope this isn't the case), I do find comfort in the fact that I can always go back home...and that is one lovely (and delicious) place to be. 

**I am happy to report that since August I've worked on becoming more content in who I am and have begun to grow more in my walk with Christ, as well as in my community. I may be moving at a glacial pace in regards to the latter, but progress is progress...right?**

Weekend End Wrap-Up

This past weekend was one filled with tears (the good kind), exploring, resting, and relaxing.

On Friday, Keith and I headed out on an early date and saw the movie that I've been looking forward to for months, Me Before You. Having read the book, I knew what I was getting myself into, but that didn't stop me from sobbing the last 30 minutes of the film. This story is one of love and loss and is hauntingly beautiful, and I highly recommend watching it. However, maybe check it out on a Sunday afternoon instead of on a big Friday night. After the movie, Keith and I went out to dinner and both felt a bit exhausted and heavy after watching the ever delightful Louisa Clark and the handsome Will Traynor.

Silently sobbing makes for a good swollen face :)

We awoke on Saturday to a bright and sunny day, and decided to take the kids out and explore a bit of Charleston. While we always say that we live in Charleston, we actually live 20 minutes from downtown and don't venture out as often as we'd like. One of our favorite places, Cypress Gardens, was damaged during last year's massive flood and has yet to re-open, so we're always looking for new places to go with the kids.

Keith mentioned heading to Fort Moultrie, which is located in Sullivan's Island about 40 minutes from our house, and I hesitantly agreed. The only time we visited was years ago during the winter and we froze our butts off. However, this time around we had the most wonderful experience!

Arabella has been taking very unpredictable naps and ended up sleeping for most of the time, so she missed out on exploring the fort and checking out the cannons. We ended up wandering around the front of the fort and discovered a path to Sullivan's Beach!

Our little Bella Reese woke up to see one of favorite places (if not her favorite!) and loved hanging out in the water. After spending time at Ft. Moultire, we stopped for lunch and ice cream, Toys R Us, and headed home to relax for the rest of the evening.

On Sunday, I woke up feeling a bit sore and had a pretty intense backache. I think the combination of walking a little too much and riding in Keith's lifted truck made this happen, but I was still feeling okay. Then, my sweet Gavin tried to give me a kiss and accidentally head-butted me in the nose. Now, as a mom I've been head-butted plenty of times before, but this time was incredibly painful. I immediately burst into tears and checked for blood, because I was sure that my nose was broken. Luckily, there was no blood and if anything my nose is only bruised, but the headache it caused lasted for most of the day. :( Gavin felt horrible but I assured him that it was okay, but I was pretty much useless the rest of the day. We did get to watch Djokovic win the French Open (GO DJOK!!!!) and that was awesome.

I also watched the Miss USA pageant and really enjoyed seeing how diverse and intelligent this year's contestant were. Pageants get a lot of heat for being just "beauty pageants", and yes these women are beautiful, but they are also strong and intelligent and fearless. I follow a lot of the contestants and pageant sites on Instagram and my favorites going in to the competition were South Carolina, South Dakota, and Hawaii. After the initial introductions, I was also rooting for D.C. to win because I admire her service in the Army. 

District of Columbia, Hawaii, South Carolina, and South Dakota

All of my favorites made it to the Top 10, except South Carolina who made it to the Top 15. Each year I watch this and it is clear that you must have confidence and poise to make it to the interview, but if you bomb said interview then you're toast! Alabama and California were fan favorites and doing so well, and then their answers were lacking and a bit painful to watch and they did not move forward. 

It does seem a bit convenient that the military contestant was asked a question about the government allowing women to fight in combat, while Hawaii was asked who she was going to vote for (Clinton vs. Trump...really????). Both contestants handled the questions well, but I do think Hawaii had an unfair advantage that may have cost her the crown. 

Overall, it was a wonderful weekend and I am so thankful that I get to do life with these people!

How was your weekend? 

What did you do?

Take Flight

I am an incredibly passionate person, almost to a fault. I am the person with so many goals, dreams, and interests that sometimes it is overwhelming and exhausting. I blame it on my slightly OCD/ADD, Type-A personality, and for a long time I tried to hide it. Wanting to accomplish so much and often times failing takes a lot of energy and can be embarrassing, but it hasn’t stopped me from going after what I want. Now that I’m 30, I’m embracing it.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but combine my 30th birthday with my recent miscarriage and I believe you get a  quarter life crisis massive wake-up call.

What the hell am I doing with my life? 

It’s like I’ve woken up from putting myself and my desires last (Please don’t misunderstand this. I don’t put everything regarding myself last, but since becoming a mother my world has revolved around my kids, as it should…to an extent…but that’s not entirely healthy. I’ve almost lost myself and who I am separate from them), so I have decided to pursue one of my “I’ve always wanted to do that” goals.

It may surprising, but I’ve always wanted to become a licensed pilot.

In the words of my mother, “I thought only men did that?! Isn’t it dangerous??”

Well, yes, it’s a male-dominated industry with only 6% of women being pilots, but that only encourages me to go for it. I don’t know why more women aren’t working in aviation, but I hope to change that.

And yes, of course it has risks (as do most things) but in my opinion it’s no more dangerous than driving my SUV on the streets of South Carolina with the often reckless, erratic drivers.

I have always been fascinated with aviation, and this isn’t my first time trying to join the industry. From my attempt at joining the Air Force at 18 years old, to my three job offers to be a flight attendant in my early 20s, I’ve always been this.close to being around the beautiful machinery that amazes me so much. On my previous blog, My Dolce Vita, I wrote many times about this love:

March 19, 2010 – One of my favorite things about living in the Charleston area is the opportunity I have to see military planes flying. I usually see about one a day, but if I’m lucky I see more than I can handle. Working near the airport is another plus, as I get to monitor the construction of Boeing’s new site. I have an odd fascination with aviation, the Air Force, WWII, and WASP. (I actually joined the AF after high school. No, seriously I did.) And while I hate the alarming amount of obnoxious drivers here, I adore the sky. I have many crazy goals, and one of them is to learn how to fly and become a licensed pilot. I don’t know if it’ll ever happen, but until then I’m content watching these big, beautiful planes from the ground below.

I also documented my two failed birthday discovery flights (here and here), in which the weather prevented Keith and I from flying, as well as few other mentions of my love of aviation.

So instead of living another year saying “I’ve always wanted to do that”, I’m just going to do it.

On January 18th I took a discovery flight at a local flight school, and confirmed what I’ve always thought: I absolutely adore flying. While I was incredibly nervous, it was breathtaking soaring over the coastline and staring out at the Atlantic Ocean.

Since taking my first flight in a small aircraft it’s all I can think about. My head and heart are ready to start taking lessons, and I’m so thankful that this will happen in only a few weeks! I plan on flying two times a week, and should earn my Private Pilot License by the end of summer.

I am wrapping up my Master’s degree in May, and will continue my wedding videography business as projects occur. My longterm goals?

Get all of my certifications and become a commercial pilot and flight instructor.

Have an office in the sky.

Raise my kids around aviation (they already love it!).

Fly my family around the world.

My plate is full but not boiling over and I am thrilled to begin this endeavor. I know some of you probably think I’m crazy, and that’s okay. To sound ridiculously young…you do you, I’ll do me.  I am blessed to have a husband that supports my goals and dreams and encourages me to chase them! (Thanks, mais!)

What dreams do you long to accomplish? 

What’s stopping you from chasing them?

I’d LOVE to know what YOUR wildest dreams are!

Home

*Imported from A Lindsey Christmas Story*

Monday. A new week, a fresh start, and as I write this my house it quiet. Everyone is still asleep, which is a bit odd since at least one of my toddlers is almost always awake by 7:00am. I awoke feeling hopeful, that today would be a great day, because let’s face it — last week was a long one. For no particular reason, it was the kind of week that made me miss living in Louisiana.

I miss my family.

I miss my friends.

I miss those comfort radio stations (94.5, I’m talking to you).

And I miss the food.

Born and raised in the bayou, I moved away for good in 2009 a few months after Keith and I began dating. I wanted to be close to the boy that I loved. He proposed a few months after my arrival in Charleston, and with the exception of briefly living in Georgia and North Carolina for Keith’s job, I’ve lived in South Carolina ever since.

I spent the majority of my childhood planning my escape. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life or where exactly I wanted to live, but I knew for sure it wasn’t going to be in the Louisiana. I was a mostly happy child and teenager, but a lot was going on under the surface. A lot of it was hormonal, but the majority of my internal struggles are directly linked to my life at home. One’s identity is shaped by their childhood and adolescence, and mine was heavily impacted by my father’s erratic behavior. So when I was old enough to do so, I got the heck out of there.

I moved out of my parents’ house when I was 17 and bee bopped around the state living with different family members. I also moved to California when I was 18 to be an au pair (long story…I’ll tell you sometime), then there was Texas for an even shorter time, but I always ended up back in Louisiana. My extended family and friends made that trip coming home worthwhile, and when I moved away in 2009 I had no idea that this would be my final exit.

It’s been almost 7 years since I’ve been permanently gone, and while I’ve lost my accent, I’m still a Cajun girl at heart. Growing up and becoming a woman while living a few states away has allowed me to view this quirky place with fresh eyes, and the things that used to bother me are no longer relevant. Every year around this time, I get a little more homesick than normal, and it’s all because of Louisiana football (New Orleans Saints, LSU Tigers, UL Ragin Cajuns). The game itself is exciting, but what I miss is the atmosphere it creates. Food, fellowship, and football is what Louisianians are all about. Charleston (and South Carolina in general) just isn’t on the same level, and it’s disappointing.

Nevertheless I’m trying to embrace the Lowcountry. Charleston is a beautiful, historical city and there is much to do and see. My family and I live around 20 minutes from downtown, and I think exploring this unique city more often would lessen my homesickness. I’ve always had difficulty blooming where I’m planted, because I’m always looking ahead or wondering what’s next. I’m going to work on that. I’m trying to lower my walls and let new people in, but that can be risky. My prayer is that God would give me peace and contentment. I don’t know what the future holds, but whether we stay in Charleston, move to Louisiana, or even relocate to a place that isn’t on our radar yet, I’m going to try and embrace it. Afterall, home is where my sweet husband and babies are.

Playing Catch Up

It's been two months since I've last written and so much has changed. For starters, I am happy to report that things are much better since my last post, where it seemed like my family and I were under attack. Here's what we've been up to:

* We moved again! For the fourth time in three years, my family and I have relocated. We are now living in North Carolina, in the lovely town of Mooresville (just 30 minutes north of Charlotte). This move was very sudden, but it is a great one for my family. Keith works mostly in NC, and now we will be seeing a lot more of him. :) So far we are loving Mooresville and cannot wait to start this new chapter with our kiddos.

* I started graduate school in August! I am currently taking my second class and enjoying the material. I'm in the online criminal justice graduate program at the University of Cincinnati, and currently contemplating transferring to a different school to enroll in an MBA program with an emphasis on criminal justice. Regardless, I am happy with this decision to further my education. :)

* Arabella is now four-months-old and Gavin is now 20-months-old! These two sweet (and sometimes crazy) kiddos keep me very busy, but I absolutely adore it. Being a mom is my greatest joy and I love that I get to spend my days at home with them. 

* We are selling our house in Charleston, South Carolina! Obviously we've moved to North Carolina, and we have decided to sell! The last time we moved we rented our house, but that experience was awful. So we're going to try and sell our house. This is such a huge decision for us. My husband bought this house back in 2008 when he was only 23-years-old. It was his first major purchase and means a lot to him. The fact that he is willing to sell this house means the world to me. Once it is listed, I'll post information for anyone who is looking to buy in the Charleston area.

*Halloween came and went, and while we don't really celebrate it I couldn't pass up the opportunity to dress up my kiddos. My little Eric and Ariel. :) 

That's all I've got for today. I'm off to unpack our new home and to spend time with my babies! I'm really hoping to write more. I feel like writing helps to not only document this beautiful life, but to also give me a second to reflect on everything, and have some "me time", too. :) 

I hope you guys have a lovely Monday!

(Halloween pictures were taken by the same lovely photographer who took my maternity and Arabella's birth and newborn pics. Tamara at Bump Meet Baby Studio. :)

Gavin's 1st Birthday and Party!

On Friday, March 1st, my baby boy turned 1! To celebrate this wonderful day, Keith, Gavin, my sis Lauren, nephew Joe, and I headed to the Charleston Aquarium. Gavin loved all of the fish and had a really good time smushing his face against all of the tanks. :)

Then on Saturday (3/2), we had our family and friends over for Gavin's birthday party! I started planning his party right after Christmas, so come March everything was done! We had a great time celebrating with everyone and I know that Gav enjoyed himself.

Adult and Kiddo Favors

Yummy Food

The Cake

Sign-In Table and Front Porch

Food Table with 12 Month Banner

Once all of our guests arrived, everyone ate and socialized.

Then we opened presents!

(I love this last picture! :))

And finally, we sang happy birthday and ate cake! 

The party was a major success, and I am extremely thankful for this amazing first year with my first born. He is an incredible little guy and I'm so happy that God blessed us with him! :)